Funny Links From Around The Internet

Disappointing Affirmations by Dave Tarnowski – Just in time for summer to leave us, why not get a fresh perspective with these affirmations for a jaded world as we usher in the colder, darker months.

Absurdly Funny Action Figures – Writer and toy collector Dan Polydoris offers a line of collectibles known for their affinity for the strange, offbeat, and absurd.

Pictures Taken From Exactly The Right Angle – You’ll have to look twice or even three times to understand what’s really happening in each of these photos.

Top 5 Darkly Absurd Horror Books – Horror and comedy make strangely comforting bedfellows.

People Wearing T-shirts They Shouldn’t Be – Someone just needs to set fire to all these t-shirts. The sooner the better.

Science Fiction Books That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone – Visions of the future are not all doom and gloom.

Funniest Dog Videos of All Time – We understand the value of a good funny dog video, so here’s a list of six viral funniest pup videos of all time. You’re welcome.

Pooping Butt Tea Infuser – Is there a funnier topic than butts and toilet humor? There is not, of course.

Older Brother Gets a Taste of Instant Karma – It’s always funny to look at people failing (and falling). Especially if it’s your annoying sibling.

Middle Finger Gallery For Your Enemies – Sometimes, things are just better said with an image. No need for words.

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Top 50 Fun Things To Do In an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

4. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

5. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!”

6. Meow occasionally.

7. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

8. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

9. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.

10. Burp, and then say “mmmm…tasty!”

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Top 50 Funny Harmless Ways To Mess With People

1. Buy a set of “Voice Activated” or “Motion Activated” stickers from Amazon, and the possibilities are endless.

2. Go on Facebook or Instagram and comment on a picture that “The three of you look great!” if there are 4 people in the picture.

3. When at work, tell someone: “I’m going to the bathroom do you need anything?”

4. When you shake someone’s hand, move yours left to right. As they do the traditional up and down, a hilarious circle ensues.

5. Fill your medicine cabinet with ping pong balls whenever you host a party at your home.

6. Say “no pun intended” after a sentence where there was clearly no pun.

7. When driving around city wave at random people as if you knew them. Hilarious to see instant confusion on their faces.

8. Ask, “What was your (or your wife’s/husband’s/sister’s/etc…) name again?” After they answer, shake your head and say, “No… that’s not it.”

9. After giving a compliment, say “no offense” and watch them struggle to find the non-existent insult.

10. Look at a non reflective surface and doing stuff like fixing your hair and checking if there’s something in your teeth.

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10 Funny Things To Send Your Enemies In The Mail

Throughout history, our planet has witnessed a number of industrial booms: steel; assembly lines; internet… It’s about time we announce an addition to that list: startups that let you anonymously send stupid prank items to your enemies. If you are looking to exact revenge on a person you hate, this article will lead you to some of the best websites that will allow you to send  prank mail anonymously so it is never traced back to you.

1. A bag of d*cks. How do you win an argument? Tell them to eat a bag of d*cks. Simple as that. However, it is not enough to just say the phrase. There’s something immensely special about physically providing the said bag of d*cks along with your assertion. And these d*cks are delicious so you can rest assured your recipient will truly eat a bag of d*cks.

2. Poop. A company called ShitExpress lets you use Bitcoin to anonymously send poop to your enemies. It’s not human poop, but elephant or horse poop – organic, wet animal poop. It costs $16.95 to send a package of the previously-mentioned excrement anywhere in the world. ShitExpress’ services have been so popular, the company reportedly earns $10,000 in a good month.

3. Glitter. This company lets you mail glitter to your enemy for only $9.99. The glitter bomb comes with a nice little note that tells your enemy exactly why they are getting glitter-bombed. And for few extra dollars, you get to double the glitter in the bomb. Since glitter is not good for the planet, you would be also making the world a worse place for all of us.

4. Fake lottery tickets. These fake lottery tickets and scratch cards will have them believing that they have won. You can just sit back and imagine their disappointment when they realize it’s not real. The letdown will be pretty severe, making it a perfect revenge prank gift.

5. A brick. This is the closest you can get to throwing a brick at your enemy without going to jail. For less than $20 this service will send a brick to your enemy anonymously. Of course, if you want to add a message on your brick, that can be arranged.

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Top 30 Worst Irish Jokes

Usually “Top 30… something” lists include the best stuff. We, however, like to make lists of the worst things. After stupid puns list and worst British problems list, it’s only fair to take a look at Irish jokes that are so bad, they’re kinda funny.

1. What’s the difference between God and Bono? God doesn’t wander around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.

2. How can Irish people tell when it’s summer? The rain gets warmer.

3. What’s an Irish seven-course meal? A six-pack and a potato.

4. What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? One less drunk.

5. Why are there no Irish lawyers? Because none of them could pass the bar.

6. Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe? Its population is always Dublin.

7. Never iron a four-leaf clover… You don’t want to press your luck.

8. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? They’re always a little short.

9. What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock.

10. What do you call an Irishman covered in boils? A leper-chaun.

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Top 50 Very British Problems

It’s not easy being British. Actually, it’s quite complicated and challenging. The daily struggles of British people are truly enormous. Scroll down to read some of the worst of very British problems!

1. When you run out of Yorkshire tea bags at work and now you have to drink Tetley like some kind of animal.

2. When you are so British you can’t even say thank you. Shopkeeper: “There you go.” Me: “Nice one mate thanks cheers pal have a good day yeah cheers!”

3. Seeing a viral video on social media then seeing the BBC news talk about it 9 days later.

4. The panic of remembering a cup of tea and thinking its gone cold, checking the cup and being relieved that you just forgot that you drank it already, followed by the crippling sadness at the realisation that you don’t have a cup of tea.

5. When you make an eye contact with a stranger on the tube and you both look away out of the window, but your reflections make eye contact.

6. When you order a “Full English Breakfast” and it comes with ONE sausage, ONE rasher of bacon, ONE egg and a F***ING RAMEKIN of beans.

7. The most natural antidepressant you can have, if you are feeling down in the dumps, is to visit Blackpool. You will leave uplifted at the fact that no matter how bad things are, it could be worse. You could live in Blackpool.

8. When you hear someone say “chips and fish” and have to recover for weeks from the discomfort that this phrase inflicted.

9. When you ask a non-British person how their weekend was, and they actually answer instead of saying “Fine, thanks!”

10. Having to add “UK” after searching up a city or county because it comes up with the American place that stole the name.

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Top 50 Stupid Puns

The only thing better than a good pun is a really, really bad one. You know the kind we’re talking about, the stupid puns and one-liners so ridiculous and dumb that they make you cringe, and you laugh even though your brain is shouting at you, “Come on! That’s an insult to both of us!” Listed below is a list of 50 such puns. Scroll down to start your suffering!

1. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

2. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray… is now a seasoned veteran.

3. What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.

4. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

5. Duracell bunny was arrested yesterday. He was charged with battery.

6. How do make holy water. You boil the hell out of it.

7. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

8. When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof… I was shocked.

9. Why do you never hear a pterodactyl use a toilet? Because the p is silent.

10. I made a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.

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Top 50 Hardest “Would You Rather” Questions

We analysed thousands of “Would you rather?” questions and put together a top 50 list of the hardest (and funniest) questions that will make you reeeeally think. This post will be extremely useful for those who are bored out of their mind or are currently taking a dump with phone in their hands.

1. Would you rather Jell-o wrestle nude in front of your family or wear a diaper and act like a baby in front of someone you have a crush on?

2. Would you rather be unable to tell difference between toddlers and muffins or change gender every time you sneezed?

3. Would you rather begin every sentence with “Hey idiot…” or end every sentence with “…Ha ha, I was just kidding.”?

4. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator with an old lady and her 3 wet dogs or 3 fat men with bad breath?

5. Would you rather have only two long yellow front teeth like a beaver or no teeth at all?

6. Would you rather be stoned to death by pickles or drown in mayonnaise?

7. Would you rather have to watch your parents every time they make out or join in once?

8. Would you rather become 2% more like a goat every year or have everyone over the age of 80 try to kill you when they see you?

9. Would you rather have to announce to everyone around you whenever you have to fart or pee your pants daily?

10. Would you rather save a child’s life and have everyone think you tried to kill him or let the child die and be remembered as the hero who tried to save him?

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Top 15 Useless Websites

Bored at work? Want to waste some time on useless websites that make no sense whatsoever? Well, you’re in luck. We have Top 15 most useless websites list here!

You’ve probably been frustrated with complicated games that take a lot of time to master, and maybe given up on gaming altogether because of it, but One Square Minesweeper makes everyone a gaming pro! Even if for many years you have staunchly refused to learn to play this game, now you can finally enjoy it with zero effort.

One Square Minesweeper useless website.

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50 Things That Are Legal, But Will Make You Look Like a Total Psycho

1. Wearing the skin of a roast chicken like a mask.

2. Using both hands to put on Chapstick.

3. Walking backwards in public.

4. Asking an old person to give up their seat on a bus.

5. Stop responding midway thru conversation, but maintain eye contact.

6. Flying a kite at night.

7. Pulling your pants/underwear all the way down to pee at a men’s urinal.

8. Wearing a wedding gown to someone else’s wedding.

9. Eating in public without using your hands at all.

10. Going to Starbucks and ordering a milk with ice.

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Top 50 Worst First World Problems

1. When you spend so long looking for something to watch on Netflix, that your dinner gets cold.

2. When you have too many chips for your dip… but if you open another dip, you will have too much dip for your chips.

3. When you have to go all the way upstairs to get your laptop charger.

4. That moment when you have to wait 4.5 seconds deciding whether or not to hold the door for someone because they are at awkward distance.

5. When you crack your iPad screen because you dropped your iPhone on it.

6. One click on your mechanical pencil isn’t enough, and two clicks is too much.

7. When the tag on your shirt is itchy but you don’t want to cut it because it’s a chore.

8. When you want to adjust the temperature but your thermostat is busy downloading an update.

9. When no one is in the elevator with you so you have no one to impress when you press the button to your suite.

10. When you pay your maid a decent wage, which she uses to get educated and find a better job.

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