If you’re a new dad and don’t quite have that fancy dad bod yet, no worries, in due time it will come in. But in the mean-time you may want to consider supplementing with dad bag fanny pack that’s made to look like you have a hairy gut sticking out of your shirt when in reality it’s just a handy hip pack that stores your essentials.
In the fast-paced world we live in, where every second counts, it’s no surprise that even seemingly mundane activities like taking a dump can have a significant impact on productivity and the global economy. Slow pooping is robbing humanity of workplace efficiency and future prosperity. That’s where toilet timer comes to the rescue.
Does your significant other always tells you they want nothing for their birthday? Do you find yourself feeling frustrated and aimless when shopping for the perfect gift for them? End your misery with the box of nothing – the perfect gift for anyone who always says they don’t want anything! This box is filled to the brim with empty air that’s put on a fluffy bed of white cotton filling – a really sincere, thoughtful present.
Show your significant other how much you love her by giving her the rubber chicken purse! It will prove that you really care about her and also have an amazing sense of fashion, plus you’ll show her how great your are with your finances as you will save so much money not buying her a Versace or a Louis Vuitton purse.
Loafing around will take on a whole new meaning once you spend a day vegging around your home in bread slippers. These funny slippers are styled like two light and fluffy loafs of bread that look like they just came out of the oven. Picture this: you wake up in the morning, stretch your arms, slip your feet into the warm embrace of freshly baked bread, and go to the kitchen to make a fresh cup of coffee. No more uncomfortable shoes, the future of fashion and comfort are these gluten-intolerant bread slippers! It’s not just a fashion statement, it’s a lifestyle choice. Once you turn your feet into loaves of bread, there’s no going back.
Once you’ve reached the optimal crazy cat lady status, there comes a time in your life where you think it’s necessary to start massaging your cat’s head. Luckily, someone has already created a cat head massager, and it is most likely the most specific niche product you could think of. If your cat didn’t love you before, rest assured he will love you now. Your cat will be so thankful for the head massage that he might even ignore you for less time throughout the day, and if you’re really lucky, your cat may even acknowledge your existence. Or you can use it on yourself if you have a particularly small head.
Have you ever looked at your cat and thought, “Wow, I wish I could turn your fur into a stylish scarf” or “Make cat is so damn useless, I wish I could turn him into a pair of comfy gloves”? Turns out you’re not the only one, because Crafting With Cat Hair is a real book, and it might just be the most important and useful book of the last century. It’s the perfect guide for all the crazy cat ladies out there who want to take their love for their furry friends to the next level. Now you can turn all that cat hair that’s been accumulating on your furniture into beautiful, one-of-a-kind crafts.
Those of us that are parents know that keeping babies and toddlers calm can sometimes be tough. And when young kids are crying, all some parents need is a little relief to not go completely batshit crazy. Sure, you can go for that regular boring pacifier, or you can upgrade to something that’s sure to make you laugh while simultaneously calming down your kid, like these funny teeth pacifiers. There are various options available on Amazon to choose from. Scroll down for the funniest examples!
There is only one thing worse than being behind someone in line at Subway that orders more than one sandwich, and that is when you forget to bring your phone into the toilet when you need to take a dump. Sure, you can clean out your wallet, look at shampoo bottle labels, or just sit alone with your dark thoughts. But that’s no fun, is it? Here’s a solution: the Potty Piano is an electronic keyboard that sits on the floor and wraps around the toilet and allows you to play it with your feet while sitting on the can.
Aren’t you sick and tired of (literally) flushing thousands of dollars down the toilet on toilet paper costs each year? Well, good news! You don’t have to any more! The Roto Wipe personal cleaning wheel is here! With its high-tech rotating technology, the Roto Wipe will spin its way into your butts, hearts, and souls, and clean up any mess with ease.
Introducing the latest sensation in the dairy world: dolphin milk in a can! This delicious new product will have you flipping your fins with excitement. You may be wondering – where does dolphin milk even come from? Company Beersy has employed a team of highly skilled dolphin milkers (who are also fluent in dolphin language) to gather the freshest and most nutritious milk straight from dolphin tits and packed it in an aluminium can for you to enjoy.
Bad dancers are like a cross between a drunk octopus and a malfunctioning robot trying to climb and invisible ladder. Their moves are so clumsy and awkward, you’d think they were auditioning for a new reality show called “So You Think You Can Dance?”. But how can you become a better dancer if you’re too shy about your appalling skills that you’re afraid to try? That’s where the Silly Sack comes in! It’s a dancing sack that’s made from a very stretchy fabric that won’t hinder movement whatsoever and come in a range of colors and even kids’ sizes too so they can join the fun. Now you can practice dancing and remain completely anonymous.
Have you ever wanted to have a Barbie that you can shave? A beautiful doll that’s covered in thick, dark body hair? Well, you are in luck because this Etsy store is actually selling “Shave And Play” Barbie doll! As you’ve probably already noticed, they’re calling it “Borbie” not “Barbie”. We believe that’s for legal reasons, so Mattel won’t sue the crap out of them.
Hey there, dear visitors! Have you heard about the latest trend in eco-friendly living? Yes, we’re talking about reusable toilet paper that you can wash and use again, and again, and again… The reign of your grandparents’ old single-use toilet paper is coming to an end. A new era is dawning. Your butt deserves more!
