So You Can Now Buy a Crochet Penis Blanket…

Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly… cock and balls? This handmade Crochet Penis Blanket will make you snug as a bug – perfect for cool summer evenings and Netflix & chill nights on the couch. Which you’ll probably be doing alone, because the blanket is made mummy-style, with a shaft big enough for just one, and we’re not sure if anyone, dude or lady, no matter how well you know them, is going to be down for hangin’ with you all cocooned up inside a giant boner.

Penis blanket.

Penis blanket.

Penis blanket.

Penis blanket.

Penis blanket.

Penis blanket.

Penis blanket.

In case you want to spend your hard-earned cash on this giant crocheted penis, you can buy it on Naughty Mature Gifts Etsy store. It’s not cheap, thought. This weird thing will set you back $120.

Penis blanket.

If you love stupid products like this, also check out Toilet Paper Mittens, Undies For Two, and The Poop Knife that we’ve featured previously.

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11 Comments

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  1. Anonymous May 17, 2021

    what are filled of the balls?

    3
    1
  2. Anonymous May 17, 2021

    Stupid.

    7
    1
  3. Anonymous May 18, 2021

    Don’t jump up and down too much

  4. Anonymous May 18, 2021

    The height of juvenile idiocy!

  5. my brain: May 18, 2021

    grosse

  6. Anonymous May 18, 2021

    What a P***k šŸ¤”

  7. Anonymous May 18, 2021

    Is there a circumcized version?

  8. Anonymous May 19, 2021

    Hilarious. :D

  9. Anonymous May 20, 2021

    Is it available in pink?

  10. A hard man is good to find May 21, 2021

    Well grease me up and slide me in!

  11. Anonymous May 21, 2021

    The veins are all wrong…..

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