There’s Now a Poop Knife That Will Help You Get Your Poo Down The Toilet

There’s probably somebody in your life who has poops so humongous that there’s just no real way of getting them down the toilet without some sort of personal intervention. Poop Knife is the perfect gift for them!

Poop knife.

Sure they could use a kitchen knife to slice the poo in half in order to flush it down the pipes, but why dirty a kitchen tool in such a way when there’s a designated tool out there to get the job done? This useful tool is specifically made for slicing your discharge in half for a proper flush! Made with a strong metal core that’s surrounded with hygienic silicone for easy slicing and cleaning, Poop Knife will allow you to be a samurai to your poo-poo platter.

Poop knife.

The poop knife measures 9.8 inches (25 cm) long, and has a handle on one end, and a soft blade on the other end of it for slicing your dung. Just be sure not to confuse which side is which before using. They also state that the poop knife is long enough to keep your hand clear of all danger in a standard depth toilet.

Poop knife.

In their own words: “Original Poop Knife will chop the most compacted of brownies, the most seasoned of sausages, the hardwood of butt logs, the longest of sewer snakes, the most ferocious of bog crocodiles, and the fattest of heaved Havanas.”

Poop knife.

Poop knife.

So where to get one? On Amazon… if you really think you have to.

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37 Comments

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  1. That girl January 16, 2021

    That’s beyond disgusting

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  2. Avid Reader January 16, 2021

    @That girl: I know, I love it too!

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  3. Big Bird January 16, 2021

    And it’s dishwasher safe!

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  4. Anonymous January 16, 2021

    trump needs one of these, so he doesn’t have to flush 15 times.

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  5. Anonymous January 16, 2021

    Comrades and Friends, Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce to you: The Plunger!

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  6. Aime January 16, 2021

    Poop, like this web site lol

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  7. Anonymous January 17, 2021

    Boy do I need that.

  8. OriginalGriff January 17, 2021

    “… Dishwasher safe …”
    Er. No. Thank you for the offer, but … just no.

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  9. Anonymous January 17, 2021

    lick after use

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  10. El Dee January 17, 2021

    American toilets look SUPER narrow, is that why they get blocked by poop so much??

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  11. Crashemup January 18, 2021

    How much does one need to eat to produce a poop that needs to be cut in half? First world problem

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  12. Anonymous January 19, 2021

    Less erm, ‘collateral damage’, than the poop chainsaw.

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  13. Anonymous January 20, 2021

    If it’s that big you need to Shit in the woods

  14. That guy January 22, 2021

    Poop knife is insanee

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  15. Ariana January 26, 2021

    @Anonymous I know right!!! Did people forget about the plunger?

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  16. srsly January 27, 2021

    my dad would need one of these his crap is so huge

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  17. Anonymous January 31, 2021

    I need one of these. Normally, when I take a poo, it plugs the toilet, and I have to break it into ten pieces with a plunger or it overflows.

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  18. Ed kemper January 31, 2021

    The poop knife is quite handy. I used to poop in the sink, because the garbage disposal works very well to break up the baseball sized chunks. Now, I am able to simply take a dump in the bath tub, chop the turd into several small pieces, and shovel it into the toilet.

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  19. Bidenfan February 4, 2021

    Biden needs one of these so he can flush American jobs down the toilet easier. Oh wait. He has no problem with doing that.

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  20. Ron M February 4, 2021

    This is a actual thing in cheese heavy households

  21. Anonymous February 4, 2021

    It’s not actually my poo that need cut I never have a problem cutting one out. Issue is some of the toilet paper don’t flush or break apart easily, and sometimes things get messy and you have to use more then usual. But as was said above that’s what plungers are for.

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  22. Oddzilla February 4, 2021

    Well, I found my White Elephant gift for this year. :D

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  23. Amonynous February 4, 2021

    The Warden said I couldn’t have this in my cell. :(

  24. Anonymous February 4, 2021

    Genius!! The perfect stocking stuffer for Christmas!!

  25. Anonymous February 5, 2021

    I literally could have used this just two nights ago…for a Dog mess…just sayin

  26. Adolph Clickbait February 8, 2021

    My son needs this!

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  27. Anonymous February 9, 2021

    Put this in my dishwasher and get yourself kicked out of my house.

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  28. Hailee Productiv February 20, 2021

    I feel much better knowing I’m not the only one with this problem. Well…maybe not that much better.

  29. yes March 24, 2021

    I gave this a 20 out of 10 very useful for a day to day bases. You can even use it as a spanking tool and a spatuala

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  30. Anonymous May 6, 2021

    This is not gift material. Seriously. Who would like this as a gift?

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  31. fractured sphincter May 6, 2021

    so many uses turd busting! why that’s just icing on the cake. it’s so much more…….

  32. Chairman Meow May 6, 2021

    As a vegetarian who eats tons of fiber, I could have used this a number of times. It seems barbaric to mash the stuff up with a plunger.

  33. Teri May 7, 2021

    If you shit so big u need to cut it up NEVER come to my house.

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  34. Patricia May 7, 2021

    Hey not a laughing matter, my poor dad had such horrible bowel movements from the morphine he was given for his brain cancer treatment, I only wish this was available for him!

  35. yy May 8, 2021

    I use regular kitchen knifes they work better

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  36. Lcc May 10, 2021

    Opioid or users of alternative pain relief like kratom have horrible poop problems as far as size and density go. Partly, drinking more water will help, but this type item will come in handy as well.

  37. Anonymous May 11, 2021

    also as is said before ewwww

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