There’s Now a Poop Knife That Will Help You Get Your Poo Down The Toilet

There’s probably somebody in your life who has poops so humongous that there’s just no real way of getting them down the toilet without some sort of personal intervention. Poop Knife is the perfect gift for them!

Poop knife.

Sure they could use a kitchen knife to slice the poo in half in order to flush it down the pipes, but why dirty a kitchen tool in such a way when there’s a designated tool out there to get the job done? This useful tool is specifically made for slicing your discharge in half for a proper flush! Made with a strong metal core that’s surrounded with hygienic silicone for easy slicing and cleaning, Poop Knife will allow you to be a samurai to your poo-poo platter.

Poop knife.

The poop knife measures 9.8 inches (25 cm) long, and has a handle on one end, and a soft blade on the other end of it for slicing your dung. Just be sure not to confuse which side is which before using. They also state that the poop knife is long enough to keep your hand clear of all danger in a standard depth toilet.

Poop knife.

In their own words: “Original Poop Knife will chop the most compacted of brownies, the most seasoned of sausages, the hardwood of butt logs, the longest of sewer snakes, the most ferocious of bog crocodiles, and the fattest of heaved Havanas.”

Poop knife.

Poop knife.

So where to get one? On Amazon… if you really think you have to.

60 thoughts on “There’s Now a Poop Knife That Will Help You Get Your Poo Down The Toilet”

  1. Uuuuuhm. -You don’t need this, or any other device, utensil, impliment. tool, thingamajig, googaw, doodad, or whichamahoozit. Just pour a sufficient amt. of VERY hot water on the offending detritus. Then, go make your fav. cuppa. Enjoy that, AFTER which you can return (with nose-plugs)and flush it away.‐And it didn’t cost more than the two cents worth I just put in.

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  2. Another help for sick loved ones taking meds that cause concrete crap is, probiotics. If they’re feeling up to reading these Sad Useless Humor comments, a good long fit of belly- laughing might break it up as it exits?

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  3. I was just transported to the episode of Sanjay and Craig where they went to stay the night with the Dixons and there was a kitchen knife sitting on top of the toilet.

  4. All you have to do is mix a tsp of dish soap in 2 cups of very hot water, pour into toilet, wait 5 minutes, it will break up enough to flush.

  5. Wait ’til 2 AM….GET RUBBER GLOVES…OPEN WINDOW ( BEFORE HANDLING SHIT)….POOP IS A TERM FOR SHIT…..(OR POO FOR EVEN GOOFIER YANKEES
    IE, FROM CANADIA OR DENMARK/FRANCE AND THOSE EXCRETION OBSCESSED BRITS- WILLIAM, KATE AND HARRY MEGHAN AND A BIG THANKS TO MSSR. JUSTIN CASTRO).
    CHECK OUT THE WINDOW FOR NEIGHBORS, LURKING INSOMNIAC DOG WALKERS AND CAR BURGLARS…….WIND UP….THROW THE LITTLE BALL OF SHIT ( BY NOW MUCH MORE AERODYNAMIC) ONTO YOUR SNOTTY NEIGHBORS JAGUARS ROOF OR HOOD…..TURN IN, SLEEP LIKE A FRESH SMELLING BATHROOM HAVIN’ BABY…PUT DISHWASHING DTERGENTS ONTO RUBBER GLOVES….FLUSH ‘EM…..ZZZZZZZZ

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