Shittens: Disposable Mitten-Shaped Toilet Paper Alternative

When you’re sittin’ on the john and the toilet paper’s gone, be a man, use your hand… or get some Shittens! After all, protecting ourselves from fecal matter should be a top priority right up there with wearing sunscreen and planning for retirement.

Shittens.

Shit is gross. That’s why it’s the star of biting zingers such as “Shithead”, “Shit for brains”, or “Eat shit and die”, so it’s really important to not get in your hands after after a hard and disastrous poo session.

Shittens.

Shittens are disposable mitten-shaped moist wipes come in a pack of 20 towelettes, are eco-friendly and FDA approved for babies, pets, and adults, and each mitten measures 7 inches x 5 inches (18 cm x 13 cm) and can be purchased on Amazon… obviously… because Jeff Bezos owns everything and everyone, and he’s even ready to profit from stupid shit like this.

Shittens.

If you enjoy wasting your money on dumb stuff like this, also check out Poop Knife and Undies For Two which we’ve previously featured on this awesome site.

.

4 Comments

 Add your comment
  1. BM March 18, 2021

    The Amazon reviews and questions are a whole other level of comedy as well. You cant tell where serious question and parody divide.

  2. Anonymous March 18, 2021

    The pun is awful.

    I love it!

  3. Pickles March 18, 2021

    Gross. But don’t throw those in the toilet, please.

  4. Anonymous March 18, 2021

    So this is a product that uses kittens for … ?

Leave Name blank to comment as Anonymous.