Medieval manuscripts were the imageboards of their day, full of murderous illustrations, however for some strange reason many people look as if they were bored with life anyway and their killer did them a service. Scroll down to see the funniest examples of medieval art where people are getting stabbed but just don’t give a damn.
Poor person in Image 5 is not only being stabbed, but also hit on the head with a musical instrument!
Janine, he certainly has violins on his mind!
I think it’s some kinda dispute between the Viol hat people and the weird dog-bird hat people?
This is one of the best articles I’ve ever seen.
Most of them are saints. They die for god. In that period it was against the Bible to picture humans. So they turned it into an almost cartoonist way of painting.
In the medieval era people that were smiling with mortal wounds as showing that they are going to heaven and dont mind dying as the “christ” did serenely.
Only a flesh wound…
I agree with William and Anonymous above. In that time period it was a great honor to die for Our Lord God or Gods as in the case of Nordic peoples and Valhalla. So, in that light the artists rendering of the scene would knowingly depict the departing souls as rapturous in their departure. Pretty good article. Mostly, just the facts of the art presented.
No, no! These were incredibly expressive representations of emotions from back then. You should have seen what they looked like when they weren’t being stabbed. Like they were eating salty sand, I tell ya.
@William (who said “In that period it was against the Bible to picture humans.”): WTF are you even talking about. That’s not how Medieval Christianity, or art, worked. Artists were absolutely allowed, religiously, to put people in art. They also made far more realistic statues. You must have gotten your Islamic and Medieval Christianity art history confused.
Yes, most of these people portrayed are saints and it’s symbolism, but (a) not because Christians weren’t allowed to portray people in art realistically, and (b) that’s not the point of the joke.
Had to look up the guy with the knife in his head. (Since he shows up twice.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_of_Verona
“It only hurts when I laugh…”
“Se fizer cara feia vai ser pior…”
Shows just how ridiculous Religion really is .
Just saying.
I like the smiles on their faces – they must love it!
S&M today is nothing what it used to be! Those Saints knew how to enjoy themselves!
Next generations will laugh equally on today’s fatal selfie videos (if those videos will be still playable ona any device)
May I die with such equanimity 🤣 Think a lot more meditation is needed first 😂
I wonder… they seem to be stabbed in 3 places only
The top of the head, the belly and this odd through the neck thingy
I wonder if they ‘re – being all symbolic and all – places where you’re more likely to let God in as you journey towards the other dimension ….
Because all monks seem to be killed with this cross on the head, being god s servants they have the “most chances” to reach there directly
I’m sure someone covered this topic somewhere
Almost all of these people are smiling? Becket, is giving that “come on already, look, the male being stabbed by a outraged red headed spouse, is getting the ” don’t you talk about my cooking, look.
#14 ” ur baptised my Child”
The old “sword through the neck” treatment looks particularly uncomfortable.
In fact it never stopped !
Some of them have a weird smile.
The armoured knight picture is interesting, in that it seems to show that he has a spear or pole keeping his elbows behind his back which has made him defenceless, while his assailant is holding his sword by the blade, and using the cross guard to strike his captive.
Parenting.
I think this is part of the reason why the original Diablo is so captivating, medieval is just so dark and interesting at the same time.
Man, I gotta practice my getting-stabbed-through-the-neck face so I don’t have a stupid look when the time comes.
The worst was the “press of pike.” Look it up, but not if you’re planning on enjoying a kebab any time soon.
They seem to be about to say “That’s all you got?”
@ Aria:Makes sense, right? To kill a person by stabbing or chopping ‘ The top of the head, the belly and this odd through the neck thingy ‘. Those are the fastest ways to kill another person so that they could not strike back….
I think all of you people who say this is normal are crazier than bacon hair. They obviously scrounged the internet for people paralyzed with fear when they died, not people who are at peace with god.
Anyone who argues with me deserve to be locked up.
Image 10: Need to be captioned.
“Are you alright there dearie”
“I’ll be fine – just a little something caught in my throat…”
Life was hard back then. They were glad to go.
12, you are doing it all wrong, hold it at the other end…
I cannot stop laughing! This article is so true and made my day! Thank you for this wonderful entertainment!
I’m sure #14 depicts the murder of Thomas a’Becket. He looks more concerned that one of the goons has knocked his miter off his head.
Noblelox, What the wielder of the sword is doing is called “Mordhau”. When steel plate armor got really good, swords stopped working. Like, no amount of stabbery will get you through steel. So the folks of back then were like “hey you know what will work though? using my sword like a warhammer.” Also number 5 depicts half-swording, a technique that is done by having one hand on handle, and other on the middle of the sword to get a more powerful thrust.
I think that an interpretation of the gestures and elements in each scene could lead to remember that stabbing someone didn’t mean the same than killing someone. Maybe in those days it was much more of a murderer someone for cutting in half someone’s else’s brain but by undermining any means for survival to the other person. aka assets, means and trade.
Just a flesh wound…