Nerdy “50 Shades of Grey” Is a Hilarious Parody Twitter Account

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50 Nerds of Grey is a brilliant Twitter parody account that’s totally safe for work so you can read it at your desk. The only thing you have to worry about is having to explain to your boss why you’re laughing so much.

'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop.

'Sit there,' she said, with an evil grin, 'And get ready for a world of pain!' 'No!' he cried, sweating with fear, 'Not the Twilight films!'

She said she was turned on by men who liked danger. So he disabled his firewall.

'Harder!' she screamed, 'Harder!!' 'All right,' he said. 'What's the square root of nine times twelve divided by six point three recurring?'

He was heavily into BDSM - Batman, Dungeons & Dragons, Star Wars and Mathematics.

He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters, at least one number and a special character.

'Come over,' she begged. 'I need you right now!' 'Just turn it off and on again,' he sighed. He hated these late night rebooty calls.

They tried it standing up, sitting on a chair and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good, they just couldn't get a decent 4G signal.

'Talk dirty to me,' she begged. 'Alright,' he said, leaning closer, 'Volkswagen diesel . .'

'It's just too big!' she cried. 'It's never going to fit!' 'Of course it will,' he grinned, 'I've compressed the file.'

'How do you feel about wearing black leather?' he asked. 'Ok,' she said. 'Good,' he smiled, 'Then you can be Darth Vader and I'll be R2-D2.'

'Yes!' he screamed, rigid with pleasure 'Oh yes, that's it . . it's coming . . YES!!' He couldn't believe there was a new Harry Potter book

If she wasn't responsive to his needs, he knew the three places to touch that worked every time . . Control, alt and delete.

She writhed on the floor, squealing at the extreme pain he had inflicted on her. 'I thought you said you'd put all your Lego bricks away!'

"So," he asked coolly, "Are you ready to play?" "Play what?" she teased, eyeing the erect wood between his legs. "Quidditch!" he exclaimed.

'So, what's your favourite position?' she asked. 'Easy,' he said, 'The middle seat of the sofa, exactly 1.5 metres from the TV and the PS4.'

'So,' she said, entering his bedroom, 'This is where the magic happens.' 'Oh yes,' he smiled, putting on his Harry Potter glasses and cloak.

'I can't take any more!' she cried, exhausted after three hours bent over the desk. It was no good, she just couldn't remember her password.

He decided to take a chance. He got her out of jail, took her to a cheap hotel and gave her two hundred dollars . . He loved Monopoly night.

He felt the cold metal close around his wrist and realised he'd made a terrible mistake. Why on earth had he bought an Apple Watch?

He was really into science and mathematics. Or S&M for short.

'Are you ready for this?’ he asked. ‘When I’m done you won’t be able to sit down for days' She nodded. 'OK' he said and put the sofa on eBay

She squirmed as he leaned over and whispered softly in her ear. 'Asdfg . . . hjkl . . . uiop.' She loved it when he talked qwerty.

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4 Comments

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  1. Tea May 24, 2021

    LMAO! I love these!

    14
  2. Richard May 24, 2021

    I hate these, just to add some counter balance.

    5
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  3. Laura May 24, 2021

    Too funny!!!!! LMAO. Must. Retweet .

    3
  4. Tim May 25, 2021

    What no Star Trek or Dr Who references?

    2

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