Meet Myrna Tellingheusen: The Funniest Grandma On The Internet

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Every once in a while, a Twitter account comes around that’s actually worth checking out. And this time it belongs to Myrna Tellingheusen, aka the sauciest (fake) grandma on Twitter. Scroll down to see some of her best tweets!

Mildred’s cat, Mildred, is missing.

Single-ply is what happens when men are left to make important decisions.

Gender reveal parties are also IQ reveal parties.

The “Brazilian Wax” store was not a boutique candle shop. That’s all I’m going to say.

When someone takes too long telling me their problems, I interrupt them with, "I will pray for you," which usually shuts them right up.

There’s no reason to spend money on entertainment when you can watch Helen parallel park her Crown Victoria.

I believe you CAN even.

If a man can wear loud golf pants in public he can certainly wear a mask.

My nephew has misplaced his cellular telephone.

I do not know what Coachella is, but I hope they find a cure soon.

The best time to scrub things is when you’re angry.

Florence, whom I barely know, had the nerve to insinuate I use margarine in my buttercream frosting.

Six and one half years ago Roberta told me I hold too many grudges.

With my advancing age, I like to keep my mind active by plotting revenge.

The outburst I had at JoAnn’s Fabrics is not reflective of who I am.

I carry a whistle to the grocery store in case someone violates the sanctity of the "15 Items Or Less" lane.

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took his own blood pressure.

I'm trying to be a better listener. But it's difficult when people are always wrong.

You know what’s wireless?

The only “power couple” you need to know about is soap and water.

My feelings about store-bought cookies are so strong I once wore a mood ring that exploded at a reception table.

DO I HAVE TO TURN THIS BUICK AROUND AND RUN THE COUNTRY MYSELF

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