You have probably asked yourself at some stage of your life: what would Jesus look like if he were a transformer? What if, when up on the cross, rather than accepting his fate and dying for our sins, Jesus had instead refused to do his father’s bidding and instead used the final dregs of his divinity to instead change into a giant robot and release murderous mechanical vengeance on the assembled Roman forces? Well, thanks to Jesus Mecha Christ, you can play out that very scenario in the privacy of your own home.
Jesus Mecha Christ (so satisfying to type!) is a 3D printed toy which you can either buy in kit form or ready-assembled on Etsy and which is a transforming model of crucified Jesus which, with a few deft twists and turns, transforms into a robot warrior. If you have a 3D printer you can even download your own files and print your own – if it weren’t so blasphemous to suggest, we’d say this would be God’s work.
We like this idea so much that we even wrote an advertisement for this toy: “Introducing Jesus Mecha Christ, the ultimate religious upgrade! With this cutting-edge technology, you’ll be able to lift heavier crosses, outrun the Romans, and even walk on water (with the help of built-in jet propulsion, of course). Not only will it make your Christian beliefs stronger, but it will also turn you into a super-powered savior. Imagine the looks on your friends’ faces when you suddenly become immune to temptation and able to perform miracles at will. Don’t wait any longer, upgrade to Jesus Mecha Christ today and become the ultimate believer!”
We want one of these more than we ever wanted anything we have previously featured on this site (but not, to be clear, enough to actually pay the asking price). If you are more generous with your hard-earned money, you can get Jesus Mecha Christ on Etsy. Please note that this site is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Etsy affiliate we earn from qualifying purchases.
Blasfemous, no doubt. If this imagery had been with something islamic instead, the authos would be hiding from some terrorists.
Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.
Is this blasphemous? I’m not so sure. After all, the time Jesus went up a mountain and all the apostles argued over who was the best among themselves, Jesus did transfigured to a higher form. I guess it depends on the relationship one has with Jesus.
that is seriously bad taste
Nice.
its cool, as any fairytale character, and there is a nice mix with tranformers
Tasteless!
If religion isn’t sad and useless, I don’t know what is…
I actually like this and I’m sure my father would approve.
Does it come with a Jewish Space Laser?
Jewish Space Laser sold separately.
There’s a limited edition one, where if you submerge it in water, that water turns to wine. It also shoots wafers. (The wine is Pasteurized, so…)
I thought it would come with a sword , at least a flamethrower
Anyone else look at this and hear the riff of Black Sabbath’s Iron Man?
My mom would love this next to her obi man Jesus portrait
this is all wrong. if they really wanted to make money, it should transform into a gun
Yeah keep on making fun of people’s personal beliefs but don’t mess with the gaaays you’re called homophobic transphobic and fired from job, banned, silenced, harrased online by a bunch of bullies.
thats because we as LGBT people didnt crusade for hundreds of years killing people who had different beliefs, the christians however have killed countless LGBT people and others in their quest for ‘peace’. If you cant see the difference between the two, you’re too stupid for the internet.