Hilariously Honest Tweets About Getting Older

Welcome to your 20s when your friends start having babies on purpose. Welcome to your 30s when you’re continually stunned to find that 1998 was not 10 years ago. Welcome to your 40s when you’re more interested in watching the weather forecast than the actual news…

Getting older is just one body part after another saying "ha ha" you think that's bad? Watch this!

You know you’re getting old when people your age are having babies on purpose.

I'm so old I remember when fame was a by-product of talent.

One day you're not old and the next day you have a favorite grocery store.

One way to find out if you are old is to fall down in front of a lot of people. If they laugh, you're still young. If they panic and start running to you, you're old.

I'm officially *watches the movie Home Alone and wonders how much their mortgage is* years old.

I realised you're getting OLD when you throw a party & the neighbours don't even realize it.

I’m telling you...the older I get... the earlier it gets late! The struggle is real!

My daughter just asked why we say "hang up" the phone. So now I feel 90.

You know your getting old when you refer to your knees as good or bad as apposed to left or right!

ME [as a kid]: i won't be a grumpy old man ME [now]: *gets mad at a car for being orange*

6yo: What’s it like being a grown up? ME: You know that feeling you get when you unwrap a present and it’s not what you wanted?

Me in my 20s: secretly hates everyone. Me in my 30s: publicly hates everyone.

As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids.

Most victories as an adult involve matching socks, hiding empty candy wrappers and beating random strangers to a parking space.

I thought I was just really tired but it's been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now.

As a man in my mid thirties, I no longer suffer with Hangovers. I have 3 day intensive breakdowns.

Welcome to your 40s where you pull a muscle in your back cutting your toenails.

Age 15: Someday I'm going to own a Ferrari Age 20: Maybe I'll get a BMW someday Age 25: I hope someone in a Mercedes hits me on a crosswalk

Teens: I'll never die! Twenties: I almost died like 5 times last night lol Thirties: I pray for death to release me from this damaged vessel

My workout schedule: Age 20: Ran every day. Age 25: Exercised once a week. Age 31: Pulled a muscle walking to the fridge.

#realtalk

My only goal when I get dressed every day is to make sure a teenager does not take a discreet picture of my outfit and meme me.

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14 Comments

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  1. Anonymous March 24, 2021

    The ferari bmw one is from a slow robot post.
    these are retreads.
    when you have had birthday cake as breakfast, that is when you can call yourself an adult

  2. Pickles March 24, 2021

    I’m so old my birth certificate is a stone tablet

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  3. Jim March 24, 2021

    These people are talking about being old in their 30s and 40s. What are they going to be like in their 70s? The 30s and 40s are a cakewalk!

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  4. Anonymous March 24, 2021

    I felt old in my 30’s. That was a carefree, sunshiney kind of old age compared to what it is now in my 50’s. The 50’s are when a lot of people realize, yes, they WILL die someday, and it may be MUCH sooner and than anticipated.

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  5. Anonymous March 24, 2021

    They are all funny till you get there. I have two parents with dementia whose lives are miserable. There is nothing graceful or funny about old age. Hope I die before I get there.

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  6. Anonymous March 24, 2021

    Geezus… is 30 “old” now?

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  7. Anonymous March 24, 2021

    “Not this job, and not these kids.”

    Yup.

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  8. Toothless Joe March 24, 2021

    You know you’re getting old when you get annoyed by 30-year old kids making jokes about being old because you know they have no idea what being old really is.

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  9. Senescent March 24, 2021

    I’m 35, having spent 8 years in the military and some more in construction I’ve needed 2 knee surgeries, had a brush with cancer, some disc herniation, and am supposed to wear a hearing aide. I don’t care what my chronological age is, by that criteria I’d consider myself older than most people in their fifties to be sure. This is the same thing as spouting that with age comes [insert quality]. For example maturity is a mindset, not a number. Wisdom comes from life experience, not simply living long. Boomers and their superiority complex… never gets old, but never gets better.

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  10. El Dee March 25, 2021

    I feel younger on the inside than I did in my 20s. Sadly my body doesn’t agree with me..

  11. DannyBoi March 26, 2021

    Old isn’t a number of years, it’s a frame of mind. Unfortunately, my frame of mind is slightly rusted a bit bent.

  12. jay March 26, 2021

    I think it’s hysterical that there’s a thread about “getting old” and people post on it about turning 30. 30 is old now? When I was 30, I certainly didn’t think of myself as old. I remember the day when I was in my mid-30s and I looked in a mirror and realized, “I’m a grown-up now.”

  13. Anonymous April 4, 2021

    I thought with an aged body it would be one thing after another… not everything, all at once, all the time.

  14. Nope April 28, 2021

    My mind says ‘Go for it!’, my body says ‘Can’t do that anymore!’…never saw it coming, it creeps up on you. Eat your veggies, less cheeseburgers and pizza…keep moving and laugh alot

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