The Funniest Thanksgiving Tweets

Ahh, the wonderful Thanksgiving traditions – cozy family time, delicious turkey, and a day off at work. It all seems well and fine, but in reality, it’s more like stuffing yourself up until the point you cannot move anymore, drinking one too many glasses of wine and petty arguing with relatives. Thankfully, instead of being all sullen about it, you can always relate your problems with millions of people on the Internet and their hilariously funny Tweets.

Thanksgiving dinner.

Bringing a deadly disease to people with little to no immunity is a very authentic Thanksgiving reenactment.

The holidays are an excellent time to get together with family, and instantly remember why you never get together with family.

I love Thanksgiving. Can't wait to slave for hours over a meal my kids will rudely reject in front of relatives who are judging my parenting

Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.

I don't start my holiday shopping until after Thanksgiving when I find out which family members I am still on good terms with.

My mother asked what I was going to make this year for Thanksgiving and I said, "a scene."

Thanksgiving recipes.

I carry a stone around to throw at anyone I hear singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.

Currently seeking a stunt double who answers to mom, can cook Thanksgiving dinner and live with my mother-in-law for the next 3 days

This holiday season I’m thankful my kids get to spend time with the ones they love most - the iPads

Happy Thanksgiving and remember, unless your turkey is applying for a passport, you don’t need to take a photo of it.

Gonna ruin thanksgiving this year by saying ok boomer after the family prayer

i’m the girl ur family asks u about when ur eating thanksgiving dinner 3 years after we break up

You're sitting at the kids table this Thanksgiving.

My favorite thing about Thanksgiving is watching someone else do the dishes.

*abuses someone with shopping cart over a sale*

Thank you, Thanksgiving, for being a time for family. And thank you, football and alcohol, for making that tolerable.

Me: What did you do at school today? 11yo: We wrote fictional stories. I wrote about a turkey and his animal friends who eat a farmer for Thanksgiving.

I asked my husband to add some things that we needed for Thanksgiving to the shopping list. When I got to the store I realized he’d just written ‘Thanksgiving Stuff’ and if that doesn’t perfectly sum up marriage then I don’t know what does.

The most rewarding part of cooking for days to have a wonderful thanksgiving for my family is when the kids start gagging and ask for pop tarts

serious thanksgiving question: when a family member's telling a tragic story and everyone's crying, how long should i wait before taking a bite of my pie?

3 Comments

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  1. Guy November 26, 2021

    @beth If the fork plane hasn’t tried it’s best during the story, you’re not drinking enough.

  2. Anonymous November 29, 2021

    When I was young, when my mother put food in front of me, I was told to eat everything on my plate. Her attitude was, “Eat it, dammit!.” My mother never went for what the mothers in these Twitter messages tolerate.

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  3. Name November 29, 2021

    Sad, indeed. Gratitude is dead.

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