Sometimes Misheard Words Lead To Funny Conversations…

Some words are spelled the same but pronounced differently, others sound alike yet have completely separate meanings. Language is a confusing thing that sometimes lead to misheard words… which lead to funny conversations. And that’s exactly what this post is all about. Scroll down to see the funniest examples from @im_all_id Twitter thread!

A hot guy at my job asked me if I had any plans and I told him 15 because I thought he said plants

This lady was looking for Tampax in the store my Dad worked in and my Dad thought she was asking for tacks so his response was, 'the kind you have to hammer in or the kind you push in with your thumb?' he said the lady looked horrified

My Italian friend went to hospital for kidney stones, nurse said she needed to check his “peepee” so he pulled up his hospital gown and gave her a full show before realising she said “BP” as in blood pressure

I had an old guy say, “Gonna be 81 tomorrow”. I said, “Hope so”, thinking he was talking about the weather. He wasn’t…the next day was his birthday.

I was walking down the street. A man said: “Nice boots.” So, I said: “Thank you. They’re new.” He openly gaped at me. Then, it hit me. He didn’t say boots. He said boobs.

During an army interview, they asked me what would I do if I found a snack in middle of a jungle. I said I’ll pick it up and probably eat it. They were shocked, they actually meant ‘snake’

Coworker tells her story- at breast cancer drs, dr has accent tells her to “tickle your breasts”, she goes what? He repeats it, she goes “ok if you say so” and does half assed finger thing. He looks on in horror- she goes what? He stresses “Take a deep breath” We still crack up!

Waitress brought my order and asked if I wanted a potato. Odd, but I cheerfully said “no thank you.” She looks at me oddly. My aunt (my dinner companion) says, why did you say that? I say I don’t want a potato. She says, “she said Buon Appetito”

I was walking my dog & in a v serious tone a man warned "my dog pinches other dogs balls" I replied "oh don't worry, she is female". After seeing the confusion turn to hysterical laughter I realised he mean tennis balls

On a beach outside Boston, a group asked me if I wanted to pottie. I said I didn’t have to. Took a little back and forth before I realized they meant party.

I asked a hot guy in college his last name. He said it’s Gross. I said that’s ok you can tell me anyway

Once while I was buying liquor, I handed my ID to the cashier and she asked, “Birthday?”, so as to cross-check the date on the ID. I thought she was asking what the occasion was, and replied, “Nope, just a Tuesday.”

Friend at work said to me “You know John on the factory floor ? He’s vegan”. I said “What are his safety boots made of then ?” and he looked confused and said “You what ?”. I explained what I meant, and he replied “I said he’s LEAVING !”. Got hearing aids about a month later.

I put in a application at the adult video store one time: Manager; Are you flexible? Me: Not as much as I used to be, but yeah.

I interviewed a Jamaican woman once and asked her what she did on her spare time…all I heard was “I love cocaine” I almost fell out of my chair….it took me a minute but she really had said “I love COOKING”

I remember showing my ID on my birthday to a cashier. She ran the sale through, and mumbled something. Assumed it was a congrats. Said “Thanks yeah, it is my birthday!” response sternly was “NO! I said do you want a receipt?” than she paused and said “BIRTHDAY BOY!?”

I met someone in a club and when I asked him what he did I thought he said ‘magician’, so asked him to show me tricks. He looked surprised, but did. It wasn’t until much later I found out he’d said musician.

One day I'm having this video call with this lady for the first time and she tells me "'you look like your dad."and I'm like "oooooh noo" because I heard "you look like you're dead"

A random girl at college asked if I had a tampon. She was embarrassed but I told her it was ok I was on my period too. I couldn't find it and said "i think it got lost in there". I meant my purse but she looked horrified because she thought I meant it got lost in my lady parts

Awhile back some old lady working as cashier said “it sure is hot today and me, being in my own little world said “You too”

Once a cutie passed by saying "nice smell" and it was hot that day so I smelled my armpits... he said smile, nice smile

I was leaving work one cold night & the security guy said “you need a cat” & I said “yes, they’re sweet & cuddly but I don’t like litter boxes” & he said “but they keep your head & ears so warm.” I said “yes…” & left very concerned & didn’t realize he meant cap until much later.

5 thoughts on “Sometimes Misheard Words Lead To Funny Conversations…”

  1. Wait…. why would someone eat a snack lying in the jungle!? It would be crawling with ants at best, and bait for a trap at worst!

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  2. The tampax and tacks one is an old joke that I’ve known for decades. Still funny, though.

  3. one day this man asked if i was windy. i said, well sometimes. he said no, i mean are you my friends’ daughter, wendy.

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