You know what they say “The higher the hair, the closer to God”. But seriously: what’s up with the outlandish haircuts, creepy references to touching, and eerie ventriloquist dummies?
46 thoughts on “Awkward Christian Music Album Covers”
Some of these are rather scary. What kind of people would believe in god enough to devote so much of themselves to him? “Jesus use me!” “The cross and the switchblade” both rather ominous. Guess that’s what being bred, born and raised around religion.
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Some of these are rather scary. What kind of people would believe in god enough to devote so much of themselves to him? “Jesus use me!” “The cross and the switchblade” both rather ominous. Guess that’s what being bred, born and raised around religion.
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Ah shit, looks like I duplicated that comment.
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God did that.
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I hope Greg Kendrick has the courage to come forward and declare exactly who touched him.
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OMG!!!
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“Let Me Touch Him” by The Minister’s Quartet was especially insightful, given how many men of the cloth have sexually abused young boys over the decades.
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The Cross and The Switchblade was a film that came out in about 74 or 75, one of those films only shown at churches or church youth clubs.
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What’s up with all the ventriliquist dummies?
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My uncle was a minister in PA. & he had a dummy named Willie Witness & they went all over the world. He was even on that old show “Real People.” He was “billed” as a minister magician. I always thought it was the creepiest thing in the world & that he was the only one who used a dummy!
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The Cross and the Switchblade is a book written in 1962 by pastor David Wilkerson with John and Elizabeth Sherrill. It tells the true story of Wilkerson’s first five years in New York City, where he ministered to disillusioned youth, encouraging them to turn away from the drugs and gang violence they were involved with and to turn to Jesus. The book became a best seller, with more than 16 million copies distributed in over 30 languages.Wikipedia
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At least Jesus loves them. Which is nice.
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Larry Hagman was in the Cross and the Switchblade.
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Whats with all the hand puppets? Scary…
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Eric Estrada of Chips was in “The Cross and The Switchblade “
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Is it common knowledge that evangelicals have a puppet fetish, or is this news to everyone, including me?
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Pretty funny. Regarding “The Cross And The Switchblade” it makes a little more sense if you know that there was a book and a movie made from it (with Pat Boone lol) based on the true story of a preacher who went into the criminal street gangs of New York. The idea is that “the cross proved stronger than the switchblade”.
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All the ladies with Big Hair look like Trannies
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Nick Cruz…Tells His Personal Testimony… About What? Being a leader of Knife Wielding Thugs???
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I know what some of these are going for, but my dirty mind twists it. “The Unseen hand” “Let me Touch Him”…
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The Cross and the Switchblade was a book and movie about a minister who wne to preach to street gangs.
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is the Miracle at My House… the Exorcist?
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I wonder if fundies still lug around those puppets to brainwash young kids in hot fart-smelling church basements. Any REAL kid would run like the dickens, or fall asleep in the folding chairs against the cement-block wall.
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useen hand Economics AND Religion nice
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@Archie The Cross and the Switch Blade is an amazing true story. How a skinny country evangelist called Wilkerson went into the worst ganglands of 60s New York, and saw loads of gangs transformed. Whilst the album covers are hilarious and now seem very misguided, you should check out Nicky Cruz/ Wilkerson on line.
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Jesus and Superman are gay lovers confirmed
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RE: “Barren Cross” In the words of Hank Hill, “You’re not making religion better, you’re making Rock worse!”
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Which of the Minister Quartet touched little Greg Kendrick, and who does the unseen hand belong to and who did it touch?
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Not bad for religious albums. Drag queens telling you to use them (for Christ’s sake, just do it!), someone touching whoever, unseen hands beneath something, switchblades, Jesus and Superman spicing up Pride Parades, agender or gender bender couples and puppets, giants, martial arts, Satan and Down’s all in one same big bucket. In the boring old days we just burned cats, books and people to a crisp.
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This is why Jesus was “God become flesh” — so he could face-palm at these album covers.
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Archie, Yes, you, the first commenter! we know who you are! We will get you! )))
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Ah shit, here we go again. (((
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Young boy on cover: “He touched me”, grown men on cover: “Let me touch him” .. Wtf.
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Why do most of the females look like men in drag I wonder.
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They forgot to make an album titled, “I Love Where He Touches Me!”
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Many of these albums remind me of the quote “the higher the hair the closer to god”. Some of these ladies are getting pretty damn close.
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Message always same: JESUS IS GOD AND YOU BETTER WORSHIP HIM OR YOU’RE GOING TO HELL!
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What’s with the ventriloquism??
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Some of those women have PHDs – Pentecostal Hair Dos!!! :-)
I feel that the “He Touched Me” album was a follow up to the “Let Me Touch Him” disc
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Some of these covers are made up in order to be funny. The “Jesus Use Me” album has the same cover with different titles and different names for the artists. One was entitled “Jesus, What a Name” by the Singing Shytes. no kidding.
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No. But I got a nice ventriloquist dummy here.
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I’m sorry but there is no way Chris Miskelly is a woman
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OK Greg Kendrick if you were touched inappropriately I’d get a lawyer and file a lawsuit
Why do most of the women on these album covers look like lesbians?
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Is it me or does Chris Miskelly look like a truck driver in drag?
Some of these are rather scary. What kind of people would believe in god enough to devote so much of themselves to him? “Jesus use me!” “The cross and the switchblade” both rather ominous. Guess that’s what being bred, born and raised around religion.
Some of these are rather scary. What kind of people would believe in god enough to devote so much of themselves to him? “Jesus use me!” “The cross and the switchblade” both rather ominous. Guess that’s what being bred, born and raised around religion.
Ah shit, looks like I duplicated that comment.
God did that.
I hope Greg Kendrick has the courage to come forward and declare exactly who touched him.
OMG!!!
“Let Me Touch Him” by The Minister’s Quartet was especially insightful, given how many men of the cloth have sexually abused young boys over the decades.
The Cross and The Switchblade was a film that came out in about 74 or 75, one of those films only shown at churches or church youth clubs.
What’s up with all the ventriliquist dummies?
My uncle was a minister in PA. & he had a dummy named Willie Witness & they went all over the world. He was even on that old show “Real People.” He was “billed” as a minister magician. I always thought it was the creepiest thing in the world & that he was the only one who used a dummy!
The Cross and the Switchblade is a book written in 1962 by pastor David Wilkerson with John and Elizabeth Sherrill. It tells the true story of Wilkerson’s first five years in New York City, where he ministered to disillusioned youth, encouraging them to turn away from the drugs and gang violence they were involved with and to turn to Jesus. The book became a best seller, with more than 16 million copies distributed in over 30 languages.Wikipedia
At least Jesus loves them. Which is nice.
Larry Hagman was in the Cross and the Switchblade.
Whats with all the hand puppets? Scary…
Eric Estrada of Chips was in “The Cross and The Switchblade “
Is it common knowledge that evangelicals have a puppet fetish, or is this news to everyone, including me?
Pretty funny. Regarding “The Cross And The Switchblade” it makes a little more sense if you know that there was a book and a movie made from it (with Pat Boone lol) based on the true story of a preacher who went into the criminal street gangs of New York. The idea is that “the cross proved stronger than the switchblade”.
All the ladies with Big Hair look like Trannies
Nick Cruz…Tells His Personal Testimony…
About What? Being a leader of Knife Wielding Thugs???
I know what some of these are going for, but my dirty mind twists it. “The Unseen hand” “Let me Touch Him”…
The Cross and the Switchblade was a book and movie about a minister who wne to preach to street gangs.
is the Miracle at My House… the Exorcist?
I wonder if fundies still lug around those puppets to brainwash young kids in hot fart-smelling church basements. Any REAL kid would run like the dickens, or fall asleep in the folding chairs against the cement-block wall.
useen hand
Economics AND Religion
nice
@Archie The Cross and the Switch Blade is an amazing true story. How a skinny country evangelist called Wilkerson went into the worst ganglands of 60s New York, and saw loads of gangs transformed. Whilst the album covers are hilarious and now seem very misguided, you should check out Nicky Cruz/ Wilkerson on line.
Jesus and Superman are gay lovers confirmed
RE: “Barren Cross” In the words of Hank Hill, “You’re not making religion better, you’re making Rock worse!”
Which of the Minister Quartet touched little Greg Kendrick, and who does the unseen hand belong to and who did it touch?
Not bad for religious albums. Drag queens telling you to use them (for Christ’s sake, just do it!), someone touching whoever, unseen hands beneath something, switchblades, Jesus and Superman spicing up Pride Parades, agender or gender bender couples and puppets, giants, martial arts, Satan and Down’s all in one same big bucket. In the boring old days we just burned cats, books and people to a crisp.
This is why Jesus was “God become flesh” — so he could face-palm at these album covers.
Archie, Yes, you, the first commenter! we know who you are! We will get you! )))
Ah shit, here we go again. (((
Young boy on cover: “He touched me”, grown men on cover: “Let me touch him” .. Wtf.
Why do most of the females look like men in drag I wonder.
They forgot to make an album titled, “I Love Where He Touches Me!”
Many of these albums remind me of the quote “the higher the hair the closer to god”. Some of these ladies are getting pretty damn close.
Message always same: JESUS IS GOD AND YOU BETTER WORSHIP HIM OR YOU’RE GOING TO HELL!
What’s with the ventriloquism??
Some of those women have PHDs – Pentecostal Hair Dos!!! :-)
I feel that the “He Touched Me” album was a follow up to the “Let Me Touch Him” disc
Some of these covers are made up in order to be funny. The “Jesus Use Me” album has the same cover with different titles and different names for the artists. One was entitled “Jesus, What a Name” by the Singing Shytes. no kidding.
No. But I got a nice ventriloquist dummy here.
I’m sorry but there is no way Chris Miskelly is a woman
OK Greg Kendrick if you were touched inappropriately I’d get a lawyer and file a lawsuit
Why do most of the women on these album covers look like lesbians?
Is it me or does Chris Miskelly look like a truck driver in drag?