Funny And Relatable Tweets About Going To The Doctor

Going to the doctor is a huge pain in the ass. Long waits, cold rooms, pages and pages of forms to fill out… The funny thing about the doctor is that it’s supposed to be a place where you go to get healthy. But instead you are surrounded by germs, sick people and unflattering fluorescent lighting. Rude. Anyways… Scroll down to see the funniest and most relatable tweets we could find and don’t forget to share your experiences in the comment section below!

My doctor’s office just called to confirm my Pap smear tomorrow. They told me I’m not allowed to bring any guests. So if I had previously invited you to this incredibly invasive procedure, unfortunately I have to uninvite you. Sorry.

“Please arrive to your doctor appointment 15 minutes early so our secretary can explain why we’re running 45 minutes late.”

DENTAL HYGIENIST: your teeth and gums are moments from death. Quit your job so you can floss 16 times an hour. I hate you! DENTIST: looks good!

“Primary care physician?” You mean my 24 year old friend in med school who I text my symptoms to against their will?

We just waited an hour to see our pediatrician. As soon as he walked in my toddler took his hand and pointed to his watch and said “This is a clock.” Which was the most passive aggressive thing I have ever witnessed.

A woman could have four broken limbs and massive internal injuries due to an epic battle with fire-breathing dragons, and the first question the doctor’s office will ask is, “What is the date of your last menstrual period?”

plane intercom: “is there a doctor on board??” me rising out of my seat: “and are they single??”

Dentist: *asks me a complex question about my life* Me: Well- Dentist: *shoves his hand inside my mouth*

flight attendant: is there a doctor on board? dad: *nudge* could’ve been you a philosopher: *sigh* flight attendant: we are going to crash and can either hit a field and kill 1 farmer or a runway and kill 5 dad: what a philosopher: IT’S HAPPENING OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HAPPENING

imagine getting engaged to a dentist and having to pretend like you floss for the rest of your stupid life

My doctor thinks I’m hot. He said “fever” but I’ll take it.

I love how the first thing they do at the doctor’s office is weigh you. I was already nervous, now I’m depressed. Maybe next they can bring up something I regret from my past & really get this party started.

DENTIST: how often do u brush ur teeth ME: twice a day. DENTIST: and floss? ME: tw--ttwice. … DENTIST: a day? … ME: i stand by wat i said.

Doctor’s office: We need to reschedule your May 5 physical, next available is June 20th. Me: Sorry, I will be out of town Office: (irritated) Well, are there any days you ARE available? Me: I’m free may 5th.

My daughter wanted to play doctor's office so I turned the ac to 60° and made her wait in her room for an hour and a half

My dentist said I need a crown. I was like, “I know, right!?!”

Hmm yes I’m fully aware that the gynecologist is about to look inside my body but I’ll continue hiding my bra and underwear under my folded jeans thank you

[8 AM - calling doctor's office to make an appointment] Answering machine: Our office hours are Monday thru Thursday 9:15 AM to 4 PM. We are closed from 11 AM to 2 PM for lunch. We are closed Friday and weekends. Please leave a message. Me: Are you...are you guys hiring?

Dentist: open wide Me: :) Dentist: not your arms Me: :(

Doctor: You need to lower your blood pressure. [later] Me: Kids, my doctor says you need to all move out.

Trying to convince your kid to wear a jacket is exactly like trying to convince your husband to go to the doctor.


My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

The doctor asked if I was sexually active and we just laughed and laughed.

6 thoughts on “Funny And Relatable Tweets About Going To The Doctor”

  1. They ask about your menstrual period in case you are knocked up and if they give you some medicine that god forbid is injurious to that precious precious fetus making it slither out – or god forbid you turn around and sue them for murder, in Texas, I guess.

  2. If they want to know if I’m pregnant then why not ask if there’s any chance that I’m pregnant? I could’ve had my period 3-4 weeks ago and still be pregnant.


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