Abusive Birthday Balloons

The manufacturer calls these Abusive Birthday Balloons a “conversation starter.” Sure, they’ll start a conversation. A conversation about what a jerk whoever threw this birthday party is. There are no rainbows, butterflies, sunshine, or unicorns here. Just mean insults written on black balloons: perfect for someone who you hate.

Happy birthday!

Abusive birthday balloons.

Abusive birthday balloons.

Bitch balloon.

Abusive birthday balloons.

Abusive birthday balloons.

Worst human ever!

Abusive birthday balloons.

Abusive birthday balloons.

Abusive birthday balloon.

Abusive birthday balloons.

Abusive birthday balloon.

Abusive birthday balloon.

Abusive birthday balloons.

Wanker.

Abusive birthday balloons.

Abusive birthday balloons.

If you know someone who will appreciate being called a dumb waste of blood and organs, you can get these vulgar, tasteless, mean balloons on Amazon.

11 thoughts on “Abusive Birthday Balloons”

  1. I live on an island and pick up balloons all the time on the beach. I have a very intense dislike for plastic, mylar and other non- biodegradable materials. Please don’t buy these. They kill in the ocean.

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  2. Anon 1 – OK, boomer. I am over 65 and had balloons much like this at my 25th birthday (40 years ago). Granted, most were in German, but the language was even raunchier.
    Anon 2 – Lose one sense, others may compensate. You’ve no sense of humor, but an inflated sense of self-importance.
    Marsha – so you live on an island, which requires extra carbon, plastic and money to survive. Climb down from the pedestal – not all balloons end up in waterways.

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  3. Irritable Altered Kocker – The post previous to this one is the current generation’s fad of licking glitter. They previously ate Tide pods and licked ice cream in the store and put it back on the shelf. Their “comedy” writers are on full display with Trevor Noah, Samantha Bee and SNL — and apparently, they’re unclear on the concept of humor.

    And no, these balloons aren’t funny. One is mildly shocking; repeating the same profane joke over and over is as imbecilic as it is unoriginal. Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy and Bill Burr can be both raunchy and funny. This is just dumb.

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  4. I don’t really understand why this is so…empty. I mean, when reading this I just felt like the post lacked heart.

  5. It used to be that people told jokes that relied on clever word play, or leading you to believe that one thing was happening and then suddenly revealing that it was something very different, etc.
    Today, humor mostly consists of shouting the f-word and laughing.

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