Bogeyman Egg Separator is perfect for the kitchen that has everything but still needs a little something more. Also… I think I’m going to puke…
He boiled for your sins. Ramen. Spaghetti Monster Colander is a must have kitchen item for everyone who considers himself a devoted follower of Pastafarianism.
Loch Ness Monster Ladle is a far superior and more adorable version of your current ladle. Plus the best part is it has 4 stubby little legs that allows it to stand upright on your counter on its own.
This brilliantly designed Bottle Wine Glass is so perfectly proportioned that now I drink ONLY 2 glasses of wine a day! Now I see myself as much more socially acceptable alcoholic.
Kitchen Sponge Bed brings the well-deserved comfort for when your sponge needs some rest. Comes with tiny plastic pillows.
Spartan Knife Holder – you may never be able to enjoy the CGI six-pack abs of the heroes in 300, but you can darn sure have the same kitchen cutlery!
Blood Splatter Cutting Board is a mis-shaped cutting board that looks like a pool of blood after you murdered your spouse with a butcher’s knife and the blood is now pouring down the side of the counter. Either that or it looks like you just squashed a tomato on your counter… Using your spouses decapitated head. Comes with a Spoon Rest.
Mr. Tea is an ideal teatime companion (and a great listener). He perches securely on the rim of your tea cup, so he fits all sizes of mugs and brews loose tea perfectly but won’t fall in.
The Hotman is a pot holder that is designed to look like a man on his back holding up your pot using all of his strength and keeping it from scolding and destroying your cheap and terrible kitchen counter, seeing as you couldn’t have upgraded to the granite counter tops. Shame on you!!!
T-Rex Head Oven Mitt – it was about time to give the dinosaurs a shot at transforming your hand as you take out those soft delicious cookies from the oven.
Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater is the perfect method of turning holey swiss into holy swiss… all while engaging in sacrilege and earning your place in Hell.
Muffin Top Baking Cups – We’ve all seen the muffin top look before, but not like this. Eat up, it’s just more to love.
Brain Freeze Ice Tray will give your party guests something to giggle about while they are getting horribly drunk.
Mitten Ice Tongs – a pair of ice tongs, with their business end all warm and cozy in little silicone mittens to protect from cold and wet ice cubes.
Doug’s adjustable arms will wrap around your spoon to save it from sliding into the soup or into the middle of your pan of stew.
This clever Steamship Steamer Lid seals in goodness as you cook, while letting out just enough steam to prevent boiling over… all while reminding you of the huge tragedy that was the sinking of Titanic.
Karate Lettuce Chopper is shaped like a hand so you can chop your lettuce like you would a rapist down a dark alley. Don’t ask why you would need to or ever want to buy a special knife just for chopping lettuce, just slowly pull out your credit card, and input the numbers.
Skull Egg Mold allows you to take that egg and turn it into an eerie white skull, perfect for that balanced breakfast before you go raiding lost arks.
Rubber Chicken Bottle Stopper will keep your wine fresh and keep your guests slightly amused at the same time. Only slightly, so you’ll how to come up with some decent jokes yourself.