People Hilariously Exposing The Totally Unrealistic Behaviours of Movie Characters

Movies are filled with stupid and funny clichés that just don’t make any sense, and there is no chance any of them would work in the real world, so Twitter users came together to point out the most ridiculous examples. Got something to add? Share your own unrealistic movie cliché in comments!

Hello. I am a person talking on a phone in a film. I never say goodbye when I hang up, and weirdly nobody else in that film ever seems to think that is really rude.

Hello, I am a person driving a car in a film set in a major city. I will find a parking spot directly in front of whatever building I need to go into. I will not drive around the block 70 times while cursing at the top of my lungs nor will I park in a garage six blocks away.

Hello, I’m a bad guy in a film, and when I put a usb stick in anything I get it the right way round first time, every time.

Hello. I am a mom making breakfast in a film. I serve fresh pastries, fruit salad and bacon rashers on a tableclothed table and juice in a jug. My children never eat it though, they grab a bagel and walk out the door because they're always about to miss the school bus.

Hello, I am a person in a movie who had received a blow to the head with sufficient force to render me unconscious. I will shortly wake up and rub my head briefly. I will suffer no other ill effects.

Hello. I am a person in a film or TV drama and when I arrange to meet someone later I have no need to specify a time or place.

Hi, I'm a teacher in a film and the bell always rings just as I'm summing up the lesson so I just shout that I want your test papers on my desk by Thursday morning.

Hello. I am a woman giving birth in a film. It takes seven minutes. I pace about a bit, lie back on a bed, get very abruptly sweaty, yell, and then there is a baby. The baby is clean and larger than you would expect.

Hello. I am a person waking up in the morning in a film and I don’t need a wee. Nobody else in that film thinks I’m a medical marvel

Hello. I am a nerdy high school girl with no friends. You won't believe my transformation when I remove my glasses and let down my hair - turns out I am conventionally beautiful after all and the captain of the football team does want to take me to prom!

Hello. I am a person in a film or TV drama and when I'm driving I turn my head to talk to my passenger for far too long.

Hello. I’m a collection of bills in your wallet. Whatever you pay for - taxi, pizza, bribe, tip - you will never need to look at me, count me, or require change. I am the perfect amount. Always.

Hello. I am a person in a movie. I have something urgent & important to tell you. So I 'phone you and rather than tell you the urgent, important thing now, I'll agree to meet later, giving the killer plenty of time to kill me, so you don't get to hear the urgent, important thing.

Hello. I am a person in a film or TV drama who's just been caught in a situation that looks compromising but would be instantly resolved if I said the single explanatory sentence any real-life person would. However, all I can say is "It's not what it looks like" & nothing more.

Hello. I’m a person in a film/tv show who has just been approached by the police about a murder. I will carry on doing whatever job that suspected murderers ( mostly manual labour) do while you try and talk to me. I won’t be shocked or concerned by your presence.

Hello. In a film I have gone on a trip to Paris and no matter whereabouts in Paris my hotel is, the Eiffel Tower is always visible in the background through my bedroom window.

Hello. I am a person in a film or TV drama playing a criminal mastermind who harbours an irresistible need to explain my methods and motivation to the story’s hero before failing to kill him/her.

Hi. I am a hard drinking, veteran police officer who smokes too much and whose personal life is in shambles, so I fight crime by breaking all the rules, committing multiple felonies, and yet I never have to worry about the consequences.

Hello, I'm a piece of software that will steal the baddies' top secret data. For no apparent reason, I display columns of random and luminous characters scrolling up and down the screen while I do whatever it is I do.

Hello I am a person in a film or TV drama and I will always know which direction to go when a colleague on my earpiece tells me to head North from a place I have never visited before.

Hi, I’m a sexy woman who just had sex in a film. I casually put on his white oversized shirt even though getting my own clothes from the floor takes the same time and effort.

Hello. I’m a teacher in a film & my only purpose in the entire movie is to introduce the new kid to my class in a way to ensure that she’s immediately bullied. She’s going to come in late to a hushed class accompanied by the principal for maximum awkwardness.

Hello. I am a person in a film or tv drama. I order a "coffee" when I buy a coffee. Just a coffee. The barista knows what I mean every time I say "I'll just have a coffee". Sometimes I don't pay.

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91 Comments

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  1. GT March 2, 2021

    The noise of glasses and cutlery on a wooden tabletop makes recording dialogue very difficult, especially with inexperienced child actors. That’s why table cloths are used in ‘family breakfast’ scenes. They muffle the clatteting!

    10
  2. Toothless Joe March 2, 2021

    Hi, I’m the meal that never gets eaten but just pushed around on the plate while the characters are talking over dinner.

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  3. Felicity March 2, 2021

    Hello. I’m the character in any given movie who walks/run into the street without looking, slapping my hands on the hood of the vehicle that screeches to a stop one inch from me.

  4. Tanya March 3, 2021

    Hello, I’m a person in a film or on tv. I walk into houses or apartments from outside and never close front doors.

  5. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hello, I never pay the taxi driver

  6. Davey March 3, 2021

    Hello, I’m an advisor of Police procedure for a Police drama, however I tend to sit around all day and no-one asks me for my advice

  7. El General Presidente March 3, 2021

    Hi, I’m a four star general or the president of the country, the one who really cares about the hero and their team.
    When the crisis is resolved, everyone is cheering and applauding, hugging the super secret command center, while I just let out a sigh in relief and finally sit down in the chair.
    I normally know only one guy/girl who is capable of resolving a hostage situation. Usually in prison or being relieved of duty. If I am the president, they were also involved with my daughter.

    10
  8. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    I’m the one actor on screen who drives a vehicle and actually locks it when I get to where I’m going. Cos that NEVER happens in real life.

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  9. Deb March 3, 2021

    Hello, I’m someone who has sex in a movie, the end of which sees my partner and I still wearing our underwear. Then we get out of bed, put clothes on without changing into clean undies or showering, and we’re ready to take on the world.

    10
  10. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hello, I’m a criminal who found true love and now wants to live a decent life. However, I have one last job to do..

    13
  11. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hello, I’m having a bad dream. When I wake up I sit up straight and my face is covered in sweat.

  12. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hello, I’m a dad in trouble with my family. I have to attend my kid’s school meeting / theater performance of but I never make it in time, leaving my kid looking very disappointed and annoying my (ex) wife again.

  13. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hello! I’m a female, 5’5”, 115 lbs., wear ridiculously tight clothing and I can kick anyone’s ass…especially men 10x my size.

    12
  14. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hi! I’m the main character in a movie who suddenly discovers that I’m a ghost and that I can walk through walls, pass through objects & even trip over stuff, but I never fall through the floor.

  15. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hello, I never switch off the lights when I leave home.

  16. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hello, I just had sex in a horror film. I’m gonna die.

    17
  17. Gillian March 3, 2021

    Hello,I just had a night terrors and I actually wake up and am coherent instead of staying asleep.as one does,with night terrors,and screaming or sobbing.
    (I really do have night terrors,as opposed to occasional nightmares.)

  18. Mezza March 3, 2021

    Hi, I am a computer. It doesn’t matter if you’re the good guy or the bad guy… when you sneak into someone’s office to download everything, I will be incredibly slow yet magically finish the download with just enough seconds for you to run away before the door opens and they catch you.

    12
  19. Anonymous March 3, 2021

    Hello, I just got shot through the shoulder, most likely shattering at least three vitally necessary bones and probably tearing up the attached muscles that move my arm. In real life, I’d undergo three operations, a month of bed rest, and a year of physiotherapy, but this is a movie, so about half an hour after being shot, I’m climbing up the outside of a hotel by pulling myself up and over the balconies. My shoulder is miraculously healed, although I do mention a bit of pain later on in the script.

    13
  20. That woman March 4, 2021

    Hello, I am the woman who wakes up with full makeup after a night of sweaty sex.

  21. Anonymous March 4, 2021

    Hi, I’m curtains in the bedroom of the kid who can’t sleep cos afraid of the dark and the creepy tree outside.
    Mom n dad always leave me open.

  22. Lola March 4, 2021

    Hello! I’m a woman between 14-44 years old. Some mishap has me and my group lost in the jungle/on a deserted island. It takes months before we escape the murderous band hunting is/trek to civilization/are rescued. Luckily for me, I don’t menstruate, so I don’t attract predators/ruin my clothes/have any problem with strenuous physical exertion.

  23. Leslie March 4, 2021

    Well hello, you! I’m a man and I just had vigorous, mutually-satisfying sex with a woman I care about. I roll to my side with a smile on my face, brush a lock of hair out of her face, and engage her in attentive pillow talk. I’m not sleepy at all.

  24. Tea March 5, 2021

    Hello. I’m a CRT from the 1980s. Words appear on my screen slowly enough to read as they form and are always helpfully accompanied by rat-a-tat noises.

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  25. Cic March 5, 2021

    Hello, I am computer or a laptop top in a movie. I don’t have mouse or touchpad. Keyboard is the only way to operate me, usually through both handed vigorous typing.

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    1
  26. Kate March 5, 2021

    March 5, 2021
    Yo. I’m the hero in a movie. I’ve just been through the longest, down and dirtiest rough and tumblest fight with my arch enemy, and no matter how many times he hits me, I never utter more than a grunt, and then I keep getting up and fighting till he’s defeated. But ten minutes later when the beautiful heroine dabs one of my wounds with a swab, I wince and gasp like a baby.

  27. Meliss0 March 5, 2021

    Hello. I’m earrings in every single movie and TV show. I never have backings, so I’m easily removable, yet I also never accidentally fall out.

  28. Anonymous March 6, 2021

    Hello, I’m a space bar. I’m never used in films or TV when someone is typing.

  29. Anonymous March 6, 2021

    Hello. I’m that tyre on your car that squeals on every corner regardless of speed, road surface or weather conditions.

  30. Anonymous March 6, 2021

    Hello, I am the guy who was in a zombie/slasher/horror movie getting splattered with people’s insides all over me and still manage to get kissed without first washing up.

  31. Ralf59 March 6, 2021

    Hello. I’m a action film hero who, in the climactic episode, battles the villain with such ferocity that a considerable number of cars and buses as well as several medium-sized buildings are irreparably damaged. The clean-up will take months. No one mentions this in the final celebratory scene or asks whether I have liability insurance.

  32. Anonymous March 6, 2021

    Hello, I’m the couple that wake up in the morning and then proceed to immediately kiss and make passionate love without a trip to the bathroom first to brush my teeth.

  33. Anonymous March 7, 2021

    I’m a detective or federal agent. I’m getting romantically involved with my partner or someone on my team.

  34. Carol March 8, 2021

    I’m all the women in film and TV. I attain orgasm in 30 seconds, usually having been slammed up against the wall by my lover.

  35. Pat.Bryan March 8, 2021

    Hello,I’m the grunt policeman who always tells the boss “you may need to see this”,”mam,you may need to look at this”,”guv,have a look”,or walks into the interview at the most tense moment,”guv,you may need to hear this,””mam,a minute”,”sir,you REALLY need to hear this”.

  36. Anonymous March 9, 2021

    Hello, I’m some kind of special forces veteran on a mission to rescue my girlfriend or daughter or sister or poodle or whatever. Whenever I take a bad guys car, the seat is always in the right place and I never have to adjust anything.

  37. Anonymous March 9, 2021

    Hello, I’m on the run and have just stolen some clothes from a washing line. All of the clothes fit me perfectly.

  38. Anonymous March 12, 2021

    I am the driver of the car who can turn and talk to the passenger for minutes at a time without looking at where I am driving and never get in an accident.

  39. Anonymous March 12, 2021

    I am the person who walks into the house and begin cooking without washing my hands.

  40. Anonymous March 15, 2021

    Hello. I am an actor portraying an actor in a film or tv show. I am always a vacuous idiot, highly promiscuous, and woefully untalented.

  41. Anonymous March 15, 2021

    Hello. I am in a room full of my highly trained and thoroughly competent colleagues, but I’m going to explain the tremendously complicated procedure we need to perform out loud anyway.

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