Neckbeard: The Worst Choice of Facial Hair Ever

The word neckbeard, deriving from the conjoining of the words “neck” and “beard” is the mullet of beards, the Crocs of beards, the worst choice of facial hair you can make. The name is a reference to the poor grooming and hygiene standards typically held by such men, with the result that their facial hair is unkempt and extends down their neck. Scroll down to see the most horrifying examples of neckbeards, so you’ll know what to avoid in the future!

Neckbeard.

Neckbeard.

Neckbeard.

Rainbow neckbeard.

Adidas neckbeard.

Neckbeards also typically have an interest in anime and hentai, due to their stereotypical perception of Japanese women as being subservient to men, and thus their idealized, non-threatening sexual partner. At the core, neckbeards’ inflated egos and misogynistic attitudes towards women serve as a coping mechanism for personal insecurity and a lack of self confidence. Fedoras are also popular among neckbeards due to their seeing themselves as sophisticated, respectable gentlemen, as opposed to the a-holes they believe women normally are attracted to. Copious amounts of Mountain Dew, Doritos, video games, and a sedentary lifestyle are all additional hallmarks of the neckbeard ethos.

Fedora tippin'

Neckbeard.

m'lady

Neckbeards.

Neckbeard.

Feminist neckbeard.

Due to their inflated egos, neckbeards see themselves as tough medieval warriors who will protect their girlfriend (if they had one). That’s why they’re obsessed with katanas, and will refer to others as sir/madam/m’lady/sire/miss/overly formal honorifics, they also frequently use the word “shall”. Many neckbeards’ profile pictures are poorly photoshopped to change eye color and background to look more “demonic” to intimidate their enemies. Neckbeards usually live in “neckbeard nests” that are located in their mom’s basement and is filled with anime posters, piss jugs, empty Mountain Dew bottles, Walmart katanas, and other trash. More information about neckbeards can be found on Urban Dictionary.

Neckbeards.

Neckbeard.

Neckbeards.

Neckbeards.

WoW neckbeard.

Fedora neckbeards.

Neckbeard.

Have you ever encountered a neckbeard in the wild? Have you ever been a neckbeard yourself at some stage of your life? Let us know in the comments below!

20 thoughts on “Neckbeard: The Worst Choice of Facial Hair Ever”

  1. It seems that with most of these dudes the beard is the least of their problems.
    With all respect, I really prefer joking about people I can relate with, or even better – envy with. Not feeling sorry for.

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  2. 3rd to last=Harry Knowles creator of the site aintitcool.com & also accused of sexual assault. A real piece of dirt.

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  3. Even on these guys, none of which I would call good lookin’, at least on some, those who kept it in shape and no strange cuts, it added, to their appearance, first it hides a double chin many of this guys have and in general if you have soft face lines shave is a bad idea, just shave the actual neck (not the chin) and keep it tidy than it can look good, even on people who look good shaved as well

  4. I think it’s time we rethink this whole “Just you be you!” movement. I’m 60. If I ever showed up at my Dad’s house (and he was a Blue collar steel worker!) looking like any of the above, he would have hog-tied me and shaved my face and never let me forget how crappy I looked.

  5. I can only imagine your outrage if someone did an article on fat female feminists. Now, shower your rage on me. I know you will. :)

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  6. I’m not sure that you could possibly find better examples of “Sad and Useless” than this gallery. Lotion and tissues would be a common thread shared by these stalwarts, along with empty pizza roll bags and filthy microwaves.

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  7. A few of these guys look okay, but the rest look like they’re posing for the 2023 incel calendar.

  8. The guy in the last photo would be more impressive if he didnt have dirty old lady drapes as a background…

  9. Why’d everyone have to be so negative, I’m not saying I like the neckbeards, but still- why so mean??

  10. most of these look awful, I must admit, but some that are more tame and less neck-based like the guy with the punk outfit look halfway decent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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