Women Share Their Funny Comebacks To Unsolicited Pregnancy And Parenting Advice

Some people need to learn to mind their own business instead of putting their noses into other people’s affairs… or they might get shut down with a clever comeback.

And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.

23 yrs ago, very pregnant, overdue, August in Texas. Strange woman rubs my belly w/o asking permission. I told her I wasn't pregnant, she's rubbing a hernia. I still see look on her face as she recoiled

Once when I was pregnant, I was drinking Coke in a restaurant and a bystander felt the need to comment. I responded “It’s the only thing that helps my hangover.”

I had a woman next to me in line for a movie ask me about my birth plan. I politely told her she was not part of my plan.

I was breastfeeding & an old woman came up to say I ought to go to the washroom. I just said, "I'm so sorry abt your neck". She said there's nothing wrong w/ her neck. So I replied, "then turn your damn head & look away or there soon will be". She was so flustered, she left.

The faces are priceless!

My sister is hilarious. When she was pregnant, and people got in her face about the baby she would say, “Want to feel a kick?” And as they reached for her belly, she would kick them in the shin.

Exactly!

Stranger every time I bought formula: You know breastfeeding is the healthiest option for your baby. Me: Really? So you think it would be healthier for me to feed my baby barbiturates? (I’m epileptic) Stranger-blank stare open mouth

I was minding my own business enjoying my one cup of coffee that I had a day and a woman stopped me and said I hope there's not coffee in there in you condition, I told it was vodka and watched her face drop

As a new father carrying my crying child in public, invariably I’d get people coming up to me and telling me what was wrong: hungry, tired, etc.

The rest of the transaction would be in silence.

Just checkin'

Someone asked me if my newborn was mine as I was nursing. I told them I found the baby in the clearance bin and took it home. The look I got was priceless.

Should you be drinking that?

Once told a nosy colleague who said I shouldn't be drinking coffee that he shouldn't be practicing medicine without a license but here we both were.

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10 Comments

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  1. Tea July 31, 2021

    Hilarious! I wish I could think that fast!

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  2. Anonymous August 1, 2021

    You can’t beat a swift riposte

  3. Curious August 1, 2021

    I guess the “moms” asking others if they are doctors are themselves doctors?

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  4. Anonymous August 1, 2021

    What’s “empire waist dresses”?

  5. Anonymous August 1, 2021

    @Anonymous- The type of dresses Jane Austen characters wear in period dramas.

  6. Tea August 2, 2021

    An Empire waist dress has the waistline almost directly under the breasts and is otherwise loose down to the ankles or just above. The fashion was to make it in thin muslin or such and even to wet the fabric to show off the figure.

  7. Mimimi August 2, 2021

    Strangers shouldn’t annoy pregnant women.
    But pregnant women also still should avoid coffee and even more avoid alcohol……
    There’s wrongdoing and misbehavior in every single post

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  8. Anonymous August 2, 2021

    @Mimimi, I don’t think you have any more business judging the moms’ behavior than the nosy strangers do. There is no such thing as an absolute rule in health care regarding alcohol, caffeine or any other drug. People just love jumping on bandwagons without thinking twice.

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  9. Anonymous August 15, 2021

    A coworker asked me once what I did for exercises when I went to the gym every morning. Among other things, I mentioned ab crunches. She said, “Oh, that’s for your stomach? I just thought you were pregnant.” No. No, I was not pregnant. But, thanks.

  10. Anonymous August 20, 2021

    I have built my son a homemade Kinderwagen which allowed him to walk freely inside, even with another kid. The amount of strangers allowing themselves to rate or criticize the work, touch the wagon or even the kids inside it, taught me to never again in my life approach a stranger mother in the street unless she specifically asks for my help.

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