16 thoughts on “Some Birds Are Total Jerks”

  1. Parrots that deliberately peck off your laptop’s keyboard keys reminds me of cat attitude to drop things from surfaces. Parrots are like cats, ok. But what about carrots then?

  2. Carrots are gentle and generally behave very well. It’s the Pats that are annoying: they spy on you, they steal your Super Bowls, deflate your football and shit on everything you love.

  3. 1. Now that this woodpecker has hit rock bottom, they can finally get the help they need to rebuild their life.

    2. The Chicago Pigeon Arts group unveiled their entry for the yearly art car festival happening this weekend on the west side. Tickets for the event are still available.

    3. That pigeon could just be returning someones lost dentures, we shouldn’t automatically jump to the conclusion that he stole them.

    4. Looks like a furry version of the Kool-Aid man broke out of that for-profit animal prison cell and left the Cockatiel to take the fall.

    5. In a nation of people addicted to the pleasures of fried foo, should we demonize the seagull for his hankering for grilled cheese and french fries or should we make sure that all Americans understand the dangers of saturated fats?

    6. Ignoring your friends and family while you bath in social media spats and meme sessions affects everyone, even our pet roosters. #taketimeforlovingyourlovedones

    7. “The addition of the subtle pattern of nature to the focal point of the artwork brings something positive to a work that would have been overly chaotic on its own without something to connect us to the works nearly garish color arrangement”- New York Times Art Review

    8. Ear mites are a destructive force within the feline community, and we are fortunate to have volunteer parrots to help check for this invading species in the ears of those who are unable to do so for themselves. Support this important cross-species program today with a donation.

    9. Amazon Prime Rapid Ice Cream delivery system unveiled today in select American cities. Log into your prime account now to see if your home is within one of these zones!

    10. “We can all dismantle negativity, even if it is just one piece at a time”

    11. “Migrant geese are now helping to fill the rapidly expanding need for retail security workers to deal with a surge in consumer product losses”.

    12. “The CDC has mobilized its new team of feathered meat monitors to help contain Southern Californias massive e. Coli outbreak which has already claimed the lives of 29 people.”

    13. (image caption) Pictured above is a worker from the new Chevy window cleaning service unveiled last month. This forward advance team member pictured above can be seen marking customers automobile using a geo marking system, providing precise location details for a window washing team that was dispatched by the wifi/cellular module connected the hardware contained within his ankle monitor”.

    14. Amazon’s rapid ice cream delivery service, Good Scoops, expands to 10 additional cities this week, providing a much-needed respite from global warming-related heat stress.

    15. Seattle birds are much like their human counterparts when it comes to relaxing with a good cup of coffee while taking a much-needed break from their electronic devices.

    16. Bread wrestling champ Whitey Gull overtook Magnus Obersun in today’s match to secure his 28th win of the season.

    17. Amazon continues to cater to their base by further expanding its popular Good Scoops service to 5 more markets this weekend, driving its stock prices to a 5 year high.

    18. Apple adds key replacement specialists to their Genius service team, to the applause of their clumsiest Apple patrons.

    19. Goose Tribe elder Gander Gand laid his tracks in concrete today at a ceremony for the establishment of the Million Mile Goose Walk memorial, which commemorates the loss of the millions of geese lost to hunters each year. A larger formal event will take place two weeks from now, after the addition of prints from 3 other flocks are added and the memorial has time to cure.

    20. ******* Amazon is everywhere… Good Scoop for life!

  4. Ha ha ha ha ha yeah that dude was cracking me up! I hardly ever check comments any more because people get all negative, but I am glad I caught that. They should add his caption to the post itself!

  5. Why does everyone saying he? How do you know that wasn’t a womens comment? But yes, it was enjoyable. They could have left out the f word at the end though.

  6. If they added those descriptions to the article itself, they could rename the post something more positive. lol

  7. How long do you have to let your car be parked in one place for there to be that much bird shit on it!

  8. The one with the bird chewing the cats’ ear is a green cheeked conure. I have one named Anzu and conures are beaky birds. They use their beak to explore new surfaces and although their beaks are sharp, biting is a form of affection. My cats rub up against Anzu and he grooms them. They are sweet, funny and can mimic basic sounds. Anyway, that is not a jerk maneuver but in fact is very sweet.

  9. Yes. Birds can be jerks.
    Chickens peck stuff like mad.
    Geese attack people.
    Pigeons and crows poop everywhere.
    Seagulls steal food.
    Parrots steal stuff and tear things up.

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