26 thoughts on “World Explained With Two Cows”

  1. Celebrity charity: you have two cows. A person who owns 10 000 cows tells you to give one to your neighbor.

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  2. “Traditional Capitalism” is kind of BS. It’s you have two cows but the price of cows/milk is driven so low by larger corporations that you can’t afford to feed them on your income revenue.

    Real capitalism is the large bovine corporations lobbied the government to create a status where milk/beef imports are so cheap you can’t possibly compete. You get sued for patent infringement because you used a milking machine.

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  3. @Shai, You are describing crony capitalism, not capitalism. Capitalism does not have huge government regulations, nor does it have high taxes, but it does have a small(er) state with smaller powers. Thta means lobbyists don’t have who to influence. But it does require, as I said, a small government, not a socialist one full of angelic “savior” saints. You know that power corrupts (while taxes and regulations are mandatory, milk and beef are not).

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  4. @Howdy – And where exactly does your true form or capitalism exist? You’d need a small government, which is kind of a libertarian fantasy. The only countries I know of with tiny governments are run by druglords.
    In a capitalist system, the companies will do whatever it takes to make more money. Ok, fine…. until they use their money to influence the government and change it to their liking. Capitalism grows into crony capitalism.

  5. Traditional Capitalism. You have two cows, sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, you need more space, you buy more land with an overpriced loan. Your extra production causes a glut of milk which drives down prices. You can no longer afford the loan or cattle food. A corporation offer you a pittance for your land and business, you have to sell or starve yourself or your cattle. Now you have nothing except a massive debt and have to work for the corporations, earning barely enough to exist, while the shareholders take massive amounts of money in dividends for doing nothing.

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  6. @Fantasy Island, you write in english, so you should be aware that both Britain unt America had smaller governments before the hellish early XX century. Holland had a smaller government after their classical liberal “revolution”, but before their slow colapse into increasing socialism. Before classical liberalism people were leaving the country in huge numbers, see Romania in the past decades.

    Both swedes and romanians were/are leaving to more capitalistic countries. Voting with their feet, you know? What’s wrong with people engaging in peaceful cooperation with whomever they choose?

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  7. Progressive corporation.
    You have 2 cows. They decided not to milk but make a love together instead of.

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  8. Traditional capitalism: Three people own all the cows. Everyone else has to work to keep the cows healthy, and the owners sell the workers the milk. All the workers fight each other, resenting their situation

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  9. I love that everyone in the comments is arguing about capitalism and not bigoted national stereotypes

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  10. @howdy – Couldn’t think of any current countries with that “ideal” small government and capitalism?
    Nothing is wrong with peaceful cooperation, the thing is, when countries get more and more populated, and society gets more complicated, they need more rules. We can’t travel back in time, and there aren’t any examples of modern libertarian capitalist countries worth following.

    Funny that you bring up Holland. That “slow collapse to socialism” got them listed as the 6th happiest country on the planet, so it can’t be bad to live there. USA is currently 18th and keeps falling down the list.

  11. @Fantasy island, replace Holland with Sweden, in my text above (they’re both nordic/viking countries). Both have relatively free markets, but in Sweden’s case they had it better in the past, then they tried a little too much socialism, and then reverted a little. I’m not very familiar with Holland, but their economy is pretty good as far as I can see and they haven’t taken in too many “new europeans” unlike Sweden, in fact they make fun of swedes and they don’t really appreciate the german government’s enthusiasm in this matter either.

    You add the USA as a counter. There are a lot of good things there, but a lot of bad ones too: issues with the blacks (mainly since the ’60 with LBJ reforms: crime rate, poverty/welfare dependance, single parent rate and other such increases), the war on drugs (also disproportionately affected blacks; check pharma and police lobby), the increasing federalisation (as in centralisation: check mental healthcare evolution and pharma lobby), military interventionism (industrial military complex; lobby), state subsidised education (for economically useless classes; interventionism and lobby), communist infiltration & subversion in academia started by the KGB during the cold war, the socialism/progressivism of the yankees & protestants of the late XIX-early XX century, etc, etc.

  12. There is no one country or period that was perfect, and modern technology (plus the previous generation’s good policies in the countries of western culture) make ours enjoy an undeservedly high quality of life in some cases. As a negative, the american’s case exporting their inflation through the wide use of the USD helped a lot, to the detriment of other countries.

    Research what this means: “From shirtsleeves to shirt sleeves in three generations.” Hint: in capitalist aka free market & rule of law countries people need not remain poor/rich. But if you insert lobby and trick people into giving their freedoms to the state aka socialism (communism was always implemented by force, either through revolution or foreign intervention/occupation) the poor get poorer and a few rich get richer.

    The europeans before the Great War thought war was behind them. They were wrong. The classical liberal founding fathers of the USA had it better: “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” It is good americans still have their most important amendments: the right to offend by speaking and the right to be dangerous by owning guns, though these are under attack. Sheep, and dependent sheep more so, are easier to lord over. It is a really sad thing that so many act like usefull idiots.

  13. Sorry but you got NZ wrong, it goes like this
    you have two cows:
    you get milk from both, sell the majority off cheap to other countries, then make your neighbours pay more for what’s left.

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  14. Colombia: you have two cows. Alvaro Uribe shows up with a chainsaw, kills you and your family, presents you as a criminal and gives the two cows to the banks which in turn seize all of your belongings plus 19% vat as payment for old debts. The media presents your story as an example of what good and decent people is not, then Uribe Is pressed with charges for murder and fraud, but decent people are always there to save him

  15. What a load of superficial crap. Systems reward those who ultimately enable those in power to stay in power and increase their rewards. The need for and purpose of a happy society has been missed completely. We are all in this together which should guide underlying laws to protect that end.
    It is not how it works in practice due to huge imbalances of power. “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely” is worth remembering. It applies all over the world. Greed and corruption ultimately lead to a revolution which is heading towards the USA and other countries right now.

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  16. Trumpism:

    You have two calves that your father loaned you. You sell both and make a living off telling everyone you have many cows. You run for president, people give you several more calves, and you use these to get elected president. You tell everyone they are the greatest cows you have ever seen, and everyone who voted for you plus the people they voted for agree that the calves are cows. You dismiss anyone saying they are calves as spreading “Fake News”. You tweet about how great your “cows” are, and a group of internet weirdos then insists one of the “cows” knows the truth about the government. They start an online conspiracy theory called CowAnon. It’s serious business.

  17. Nazism: you have a white cow and a black cow. The nazis shot the black cow and size the white cow. If you protest, you end up in an internment camp

  18. Vegan Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You trade them to a no-kill shelter for a head of organic kale and a cup of fair-trade quinoa.

  19. Libertarian Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You trade them for 1,000 opossums because they’re not federally regulated and you can do what you want with them.

  20. Gangland Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You get one hooked on heroin, put her in high heels, and pimp her out. You don’t know what to do with the 2nd cow, so you all start shooting each other, then blame the police and anyone but yourselves for your failure to thrive.

  21. Montana Capitalism: You have 2 cows. Ain’t no capitalism, but the bull is armed because he doesn’t like the way you’re eyeing his lady and following her into the field.

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