Crossing a river would be really easy
I could easily calm a crying baby
Transportation of heavy furniture would be a pleasure
Avoiding problems with cops would be easier
I wouldn’t get into trouble with angry husbands
I’d put funny mustaches on intimidating people
I’d be rich!
I’d clone-stamp-tool-away mustard stains on my shirt
Repainting walls would take less than 2 seconds
I’d cure stupid people
Original idea by cracked.com or somethingawful.com (not sure who was the first, really).
Remake by sadanduseless.com (obviously).