10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong (Parody)

Did you know that gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall? Scroll down to see all ten mind-blowing facts why gay marriage is wrong!

Being gay is not natural. Humans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a cat has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all. Women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour and Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage would be destroyed.

Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more people.

Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why you have only one religion in your country.

Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new things. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, internet, or longer life spans.

Please note that this post is a parody of anti-gay-marriage arguments. We on this site are not against marriage equality. And since this is such a controversial topic, please stay civil in the comments. Thanks!

18 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong (Parody)”

  1. Well, actually single-parent families are often dysfunctional. So are non-single parent families.

  2. I always say if marriage is so sacred, then shouldn’t right wingers be fighting to also outlaw divorce?…. anyone…. anyone…..(crickets)

  3. Like the now old saying goes: If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t marry a gay.

  4. I see nothing wrong with gay. Why does anyone not want people to be happy? We need more not less gay people.

  5. Most anti gay propaganda is based on religion. Christianity does not ban homosexuality. The only reference to this is in what we call the old testament (i.e. before Christ) and this isn’t christianity – it is Judaism. Christianity started with Christ and amongst other things he said ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, judge not lest thou be judged and love one another as I have loved you’. On this note remember he forgave everybody including those who were crucifying him (father forgive them they know not what they do). Christ died to pay the price of our sins and in the original Hebrew scripture his last word was ‘Tetaletsky’ which translates into ‘PAID IN FULL’.

  6. MORE GAYS PLEASE, that means less children in orphanages, as adoption is mainly chosen by homosexual people because they cannot reproduce.
    Gay people should be able to marry, they have a right to be as miserable as us heterosexuals.

  7. @LGBTQ+ straight supporter
    This isn’t meant as anti-gay propaganda, as it’s actually making fun of people who spread it.

  8. where in the bible (or any other religious text does it say you can’t marry the same gender?

  9. parody – A literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of an author or a work for comic effect or ridicule.

    much like sarcasm, some folks just won’t get it

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