10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong (Parody)

Did you know that gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall? Scroll down to see all ten mind-blowing facts why gay marriage is wrong!

Being gay is not natural. Humans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a cat has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all. Women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour and Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage would be destroyed.

Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more people.

Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why you have only one religion in your country.

Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new things. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, internet, or longer life spans.

Please note that this post is a parody of anti-gay-marriage arguments. We on this site are not against marriage equality. And since this is such a controversial topic, please stay civil in the comments. Thanks!

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14 Comments

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  1. Andrzej Duda June 19, 2020

    This is funny because I’m crypto gay.
    Greetings from Poland.

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  2. Iswe Arimbig June 19, 2020

    I’m OfFeNdEd, fascist scum.

  3. Kris Bosak June 19, 2020

    Homo is sick and they will be burn in hell. They’re all should be shooted but I will pray for their souls.

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  4. Anonymous June 20, 2020

    Oi, Kris bozo, why are they sick? what harm do they to you. The only ones who should be shooted(?) are bigots like you! have you never heard of live and let live. you are a sad little person.

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  5. Anonymous June 20, 2020

    Well, actually single-parent families are often dysfunctional. So are non-single parent families.

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  6. Fair & Balanced June 20, 2020

    I say let the gays marry!!! But NO divorce. That’ll learn them! :-P

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  7. Anonymous June 20, 2020

    “They’re all should be shooted.” Lol. Obviously an informed opinion.

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  8. Lassie B June 20, 2020

    He sounds poorly educated and toothless, like a tRump Chump.

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  9. Anonymous June 22, 2020

    Well to be fair, lots of humans do reject polyester… and more should. ;^)

  10. Anonymous June 22, 2020

    For those offended by Kris Bosak’s comment above, you can all relax – Krzysztof Bosak is a young Polish right wing politician and the comment above is sarcasm directed at the guy.

  11. Anonymous June 23, 2020

    I always say if marriage is so sacred, then shouldn’t right wingers be fighting to also outlaw divorce?…. anyone…. anyone…..(crickets)

  12. Lurking Coward June 23, 2020

    Like the now old saying goes: If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t marry a gay.

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  13. . June 29, 2020

    Gay is wrong. Its that simple

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  14. Anonymous June 29, 2020

    I see nothing wrong with gay. Why does anyone not want people to be happy? We need more not less gay people.

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