20 Tricks to Appear Smart In Meetings

86 thoughts on “20 Tricks to Appear Smart In Meetings”

1. Most of my managers including the President of our company practice most and often ALL of these suggestions! Time to step up my game! No wonder I haven’t been promoted! :)

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2. In other words anyone who us not half dopey will see through these moves and sounds with a ‘wtf” thought immediately, no ?

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3. Mike wild

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4. I’m frazzy at the moment so didn’t,, couldn’t read past the first 3 statements,,
   Crying out loud

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5. OK,,,still bemused, the worst form of ineffective psychology ever read, you will surely be beaten and disowned in any form of local book club globally,

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6. Always bring a pocket full of tater tots to any meeting you attend

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7. Also: “Let me segue into …” and “Let me piggyback off off of of what he said …”

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8. What’s with all the retired people landing on this page?

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9. So happy to not be involved anymore with trying to impress others in meetings ! Retirement is a wonderful thing .

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10. How are we gonna monetize that? is always good too.

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11. #20 is the key to a successful meeting outcome: You can write whatever you want and is important to you. Other people’s input you can marginalize. Even better, that role is easy to get as nobody wants it (see comments above).

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12. After someone finishes their thought, say “To build on that” then say something completely contrary.

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13. Have a meeting so nothing can get done.

14. All the retirees commenting: a bunch of old people forwarded this on AOL. My dad sent it to me.

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15. I was once a master of appearing deep in thought or listening intently with my eyes closed. Raise your chin and put an index finger diagonally across your lips. Nap.

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16. “Synergy” and “leverage” are essential.

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17. “…does it make the cash register ring?”

    “…with respect to…” (when bridging two points that barely go together)

    “For every action there’s and equal and opposite reaction. Newton’s Law, right?…”

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18. We need a discussion, or we need a conversation with so and so, new buzz words. Behind moving forward, as we go forward, all these kinds of things, all that sorts of things, yada yada

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19. “in terms of…”
    “in this space…”
    “piece of work…”
    My greatest accomplishment in meetings is developing the ability to yawn with my mouth closed.

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20. pipeline pipeline pipeline

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21. Throw in ‘blockchain’ wherever possible

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22. The list is encouraging, but I’ll have to run it up the flagpole to see if we get any pushback.

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23. We’ll circle back on this

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24. Circling back on Petes comment

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25. Let’s take this offline

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26. hmmm…oh, yes–your concern…let’s “unpack” that… (i.e., I know your concern is legitimate, but I need more time to build a viable defense in order to maintain the appearance of possessing a modicum of competence)

    Can you “unpack” that for me/us? (i.e., I am/we are unwilling and/or incapable of performing a simple analysis of the issue/situation)

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27. I’m going back to work soon after a lovely break and the thought of having to deal with this shit again terrifies me.

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28. So so true. Worked for the Feds for a long time when “resonate, “disconnect”, our “talent” pool, management “piece”, and “brainstorm” were popular. It’s so refreshing to hear that intelligent people think the buzzwords of the day – and still to THIS day – are laughable and laughed at. They can intimidate newcomers though and are spread heavily around in interviews . . Let’s just cut to the chase in conversations and meetings and make them meaningful.
    SO enjoyed reading the comments here :))

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29. Can’t believe I wasted time reading this….. :-{

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30. Draw a decision tree

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31. Good for a laugh – RETIRED!

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32. Say: that seems like an empty statement… what is your plan to get there?

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33. Can I get an email summary of this post

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34. “Turn multi-word phrases into acronyms”
    *uses an initialism in the example*

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35. Works every time, set up a plan to have your admin or associate call the room that the ceo has request your presence, I’ve done this with long winded meetings, always ask that the notes be forwarded. I have a preset text ready to send.

36. Dang it, I need to get employed just so I can say all this things, twice.