Illustrator and blogger Sarah Cooper has published a hilarious and very true book “100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings“. This is a sneak-peak selection of the 20 funniest tricks you should totally use:
Illustrator and blogger Sarah Cooper has published a hilarious and very true book “100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings“. This is a sneak-peak selection of the 20 funniest tricks you should totally use:
I’m so glad I’m retired.
I am conflated.
Sorry I had to step out for that call, would you please step back a bit and repeat anything that isn’t obvious?
I wish I weren’t a freelancer so I could do this all day long!
SO GLAD I AM RETIRED!!! That’s MY favorite!
before I retired – I did the Venn diagram and watched the eyes glaze over. being a veteran acronyms could just roll off my tongue. I was uninvited to some meetings and the entertainment at others.
Do not, repeat, do not use #20. The immediate reaction will be, “Thanks, you take care of that, will you?”
IFLAGA! (I f$%king love a good acronym)
arrive late, leave early
Most memorable quote from my former IBM manager – “Meetings are good provided there are no chairs in the room”
Most of my managers including the President of our company practice most and often ALL of these suggestions! Time to step up my game! No wonder I haven’t been promoted! :)
In other words anyone who us not half dopey will see through these moves and sounds with a ‘wtf” thought immediately, no ?
Mike wild
I’m frazzy at the moment so didn’t,, couldn’t read past the first 3 statements,,
Crying out loud
OK,,,still bemused, the worst form of ineffective psychology ever read, you will surely be beaten and disowned in any form of local book club globally,
Always bring a pocket full of tater tots to any meeting you attend
Also: “Let me segue into …” and “Let me piggyback off off of of what he said …”
What’s with all the retired people landing on this page?
So happy to not be involved anymore with trying to impress others in meetings ! Retirement is a wonderful thing .
How are we gonna monetize that? is always good too.
#20 is the key to a successful meeting outcome: You can write whatever you want and is important to you. Other people’s input you can marginalize. Even better, that role is easy to get as nobody wants it (see comments above).
After someone finishes their thought, say “To build on that” then say something completely contrary.
Have a meeting so nothing can get done.
All the retirees commenting: a bunch of old people forwarded this on AOL. My dad sent it to me.
I was once a master of appearing deep in thought or listening intently with my eyes closed. Raise your chin and put an index finger diagonally across your lips. Nap.
“Synergy” and “leverage” are essential.
“…does it make the cash register ring?”
“…with respect to…” (when bridging two points that barely go together)
“For every action there’s and equal and opposite reaction. Newton’s Law, right?…”
We need a discussion, or we need a conversation with so and so, new buzz words. Behind moving forward, as we go forward, all these kinds of things, all that sorts of things, yada yada
“in terms of…”
“in this space…”
“piece of work…”
My greatest accomplishment in meetings is developing the ability to yawn with my mouth closed.
pipeline pipeline pipeline
Throw in ‘blockchain’ wherever possible
The list is encouraging, but I’ll have to run it up the flagpole to see if we get any pushback.
We’ll circle back on this
Circling back on Petes comment
Let’s take this offline
hmmm…oh, yes–your concern…let’s “unpack” that… (i.e., I know your concern is legitimate, but I need more time to build a viable defense in order to maintain the appearance of possessing a modicum of competence)
Can you “unpack” that for me/us? (i.e., I am/we are unwilling and/or incapable of performing a simple analysis of the issue/situation)
I’m going back to work soon after a lovely break and the thought of having to deal with this shit again terrifies me.