These scrotum shaped stress balls aptly named Stressticles is a vulgar way to take out your stress at the office or at home. Simply grab the dangling balls in your hand, and whenever you feel your stress levels rising, give the balls a quick squeeze and tug. Now the only thing you have to worry about is Karen from HR walking in on you squeezing your balls underneath your job desk.
The company that makes this ridiculous thing assures us that it eliminates muscle knots and tension, breaks up adhesions and stimulate blood flow and delivers some kind of therapeutic relief. However, to us it sounds like a bunch of made up bullshit, and we’re are pretty sure that they made this product just because it’s hilarious.
The company behind this product claims that Stressticles is a useful tool for both men and women. For women: “when the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.” For men: “Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it’s horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.”
Should you really spend your money on something this stupid? Well, it depends. Do you have someone you hate who’s having a birthday soon? If yes, it might be worth it. You can get Stressticles on Amazon or on FireBox.