Brilliant Parenting Tips & Tricks

Parenting is not an easy task. Sometimes it seems like an insurmountable challenge. Burnout and stress are replacing the fun and it’s easy to feel lost. That’s where these brilliant tweets come in handy!

A little parenting tip: If you don't know where your children are in the house... Turn off the internet and watch them magically appear.

I've convinced our 8-yo that I hate the sound of the vacuum so now she vacuums whenever she's mad at me. #ParentingHack

When my toddler is screaming I just keep handing him stuff until he shuts up. Right now he's playing w some tampons but at least he's quiet!

Parenting tip: If your kids suddenly start getting along and are nice to each other for no reason, be very, very suspicious.

#Parenting Tip: Telling your 4 yr old that his/her dried up markers are a “first world problem” will not stop them from crying.

Parenting Life Hack: if you use your tears as lubricant, those little produce stickers come off your hardwood floors more easily.

Parenting Hack: slide a little cash your kid's teacher's way, & all of his crafts projects will "mysteriously" disappear after being graded.

Parenting tip: Never say maybe. THEY HEAR YES people...THEY HEAR YES!

Parent Tip: Never, and I mean NEVER, make eye contact with a child that's about to fall asleep. They will sense your excitement and abort their mission!

Parenting tip: Cherish the day you buy your first minivan because that is the last day that it will ever be clean.

Tonight's parenting lesson.

Parenting tip: Wine.

Parenting Tip: when your child tells you he is having bad dreams, "It's okay, Pal, reality is much scarier" will not comfort him.

Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share.

It's science.

Parenting tip: Have at least two kids so you can always say, "Hey, go find your brother" and stay seated on your lazy butt.

Parenting tip: when a child says "I picked it up and put it right back"...'right back' really means a 30 foot radius where it may be hidden.

Kids were hiding from their chores. Just played a recording of ice cream truck jingles; kids came running...

Weekend parenting hack.

Parenting tip: Be very specific as to what you actually mean when you ask your kid "Will you go crack the window a little bit for me?"

Parent hack: When you get home, and your kids aren't there, it's the perfect time to eat everything you don't want to share.

Parenting hack: turn everything into a race. My 4yos both just got dressed in under 50 seconds.

Right now I'm that dad playing hide & seek with my kid so I can actually get shit done while she thinks she has the "perfect" hiding spot.

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4 Comments

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  1. Anonymous May 1, 2021

    parenting tip: crack cocaine

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  2. Ben Dover May 2, 2021

    Use condoms.

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  3. Jome Ama May 3, 2021

    Tip: get the house bug-bombed after telling your kids to play hide-and-seek

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  4. Chairman Meow May 5, 2021

    Parenting tip: vasectomy.

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