Top 3 Food Network Recipes

1. Late Night Bacon

Also check out the comments for gems like:

I got stuck with this recipe. I could see the bacon in the package and counted 8 pieces, but I couldn’t get them out of the package because Rachael didn’t provide instructions. I’m really craving bacon. Please advise.

The recipe didn’t say anything about removing my hand from the bacon, so I ended up microwaving my hand with the bacon and paper towels. I passed out twice from the pain, but once I awoke, the bacon, the paper towels and my hand had all melded into one yumm-o baconey flavored blob, which really was crispy and delicious. I’ve got one hand left, and oh yeah, I’m making this again tonight!

Rachael Ray’s Late Night Toast: Place 2 slices of bread in a toaster not over lapping the slices. Set toaster on toast for as long as it takes for the bread to pop out and scare the living daylights out of you.
Serves two. Oh, who am I kidding. One.

I love bacon, so this recipe caught my eye immediately!
However, after trying it a few times, I can’t help but think that it’s more trouble than it’s worth. I mean, why do you have to get your microwave up high? Is it an altitude thing? My arms are killing me from holding it up there for 6 whole minutes!

Wow. Finally, someone has the courage to defy the Illuminati and publish the sacred “Late Night Bacon” recipe in its full, unedited glory. I only hope that Rachael lives long enough to publish the follow-up epic: Peeling an Orange. fingers crossed, y’all!

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Tight Pants

– Can you even dance in those pants?
– Watch me, woman!