34 thoughts on “Hilarious Examples of Toilet Graffiti”

  1. The cleaner’s work was all in vain, the shithouse poet strikes again.

    Here I sit broken hearted, paid a penny and only farted.

  2. Rest area bathroom stall: ” I sit here in a drunken stupor, giving birth to a Nevada State Trooper”

  3. Alas, I sit here brokenhearted, tried to shit but only farted. Nature gave me one more chance, I had to fart and shit my pants!

  4. I jump with glee I jump with joy, for I was here before Kilroy !

    To which someone replied:

    You may laugh and you may joke Kilroy WAS here but his pencil broke.

  5. I need some patience when I shit, it comes out slowly bit by bit, a little plinker at the start, followed by a preppy fart, and then a pause and then some more, like this poem just a bore.

  6. Graffiti spotted in a Worcester Cathedral urinal 60 odd years ago. It was written high up on all four walls, where the wall meets the ceiling. “Last cleaned out 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,years ago, and if you are reading this, you will probably be pissing on your foot!”

  7. Some come here to sit and think.
    Some come here to shit and stink.
    Some come here to pick their nose.
    Some come here to drain their hose.
    Some come here to scratch their balls.
    But I came here to write on walls!

  8. (Written high up on the wall above the urinal)

    “Don’t look up here – the joke’s in your hand!

  9. Variation on Oliver’s ditty (observed in late 1970’s):

    Some come here to sit and think
    Others come to shit and stink
    But I come here to scratch my balls
    And read the bullshit on the walls

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  10. People who write on sh*thouse walls,
    Roll their sh*t in little balls.
    People who read those lines of wit,
    Eat those little balls of sh*t!

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  11. Here I sit in smelly vapor. somone took all the toilet paper late for class but I still linger look out ass here comes my finger

  12. You can beat it , you can bang it , you can knock it against the wall , but you will put it in your pants before the last drop falls!

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