The Funniest “How To” Books You Can Get On Amazon

From “How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety” to “How To Avoid Huge Ships“, when it comes to books, Amazon really has everything. Scroll down to see the top 20 most ridiculous “how to” books you can actually buy online.

How To Avoid Huge Ships” by John W. Trimmer


"How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety" by Zachary Auburn
How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety” by Zachary Auburn

How To Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children” by Lewis B. Frumkes

"The Jewish-Japanese Sex And Cook Book And How To Raise Wolves" by Jack Douglas
The Jewish-Japanese Sex And Cook Book And How To Raise Wolves” by Jack Douglas

"How to Traumatize Your Children" by Knock Knock
How to Traumatize Your Children” by Knock Knock

Natural Bust Enlargement With Total Mind Power” by Donald L. Wilson

Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America” by Julian Montague

"How To Shit In The Woods" by Kathleen Meyer
How To Shit In The Woods” by Kathleen Meyer

"Learning To Play With a Lion's Testicles" by Melissa Haynes
Learning To Play With a Lion’s Testicles” by Melissa Haynes

"A Practical Guide To Racism" by C. H. Dalton
A Practical Guide To Racism” by C. H. Dalton

"How To Succeed In Business Without a Penis" by Karen Salmonsohn
How To Succeed In Business Without a Penis” by Karen Salmonsohn

"Book of the Bitch" by J. M. Evans
Book of the Bitch” by J. M. Evans

"Princess Bitchface Syndrome: Surviving Adolescent Girls" by Michael Carr-Gregg
Princess Bitchface Syndrome: Surviving Adolescent Girls” by Michael Carr-Gregg

"How To Survive Robot Uprising" by Daniel H. Wilson
How To Survive Robot Uprising” by Daniel H. Wilson

"How To Raise And Keep a Dragon" by John Topsell
How To Raise And Keep a Dragon” by John Topsell

"How To Become a Schizophrenic" by John Modrow
How To Become a Schizophrenic” by John Modrow

"How To Date a White Woman" by Adam Quan
How To Date a White Woman” by Adam Quan

"How To Make Money In Your Spare Time" by J M.R. Rice
How To Make Money In Your Spare Time” by J M.R. Rice

"The Manly Art of Knitting" by David Fougner
The Manly Art of Knitting” by David Fougner

"Fancy Coffins To Make Yourself" by Dale L. Power
Fancy Coffins To Make Yourself” by Dale L. Power



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  1. Jay Dee March 29, 2019

    I have Kathleen Myers book with a slip cover for FM 21-10.

  2. Hornblat March 29, 2019

    I have the shovel on the cover , it has not been used for any ” Woods Shitting ” ( yet ).

  3. Koizoh RĂ­vel March 29, 2019

    I do not want to play with the testicles of a lion. Alive or not (I mean the lion).

  4. not a mexican March 29, 2019

    oh no, I can feel trumps presence……..

  5. Anonymous March 29, 2019

    I want to order all of these books and put them on a bookshelf in my living room.

  6. March 31, 2019

    I have the how to survive the robot uprising. It’s a very funny and surprisingly insightful read.

  7. Normen Wohner April 7, 2019

    Believe it or not but “How to shit in the Woods” is actually a useful book written out of the agony of seeing city folk shit in plastic bags and doing the woods more harm than good.
    It contains other useful outdoors knowledge as well

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