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Also check out the comments for gems like:

I got stuck with this recipe. I could see the bacon in the package and counted 8 pieces, but I couldn’t get them out of the package because Rachael didn’t provide instructions. I’m really craving bacon. Please advise.

The recipe didn’t say anything about removing my hand from the bacon, so I ended up microwaving my hand with the bacon and paper towels. I passed out twice from the pain, but once I awoke, the bacon, the paper towels and my hand had all melded into one yumm-o baconey flavored blob, which really was crispy and delicious. I’ve got one hand left, and oh yeah, I’m making this again tonight!

Rachael Ray’s Late Night Toast: Place 2 slices of bread in a toaster not over lapping the slices. Set toaster on toast for as long as it takes for the bread to pop out and scare the living daylights out of you.
Serves two. Oh, who am I kidding. One.

I love bacon, so this recipe caught my eye immediately!
However, after trying it a few times, I can’t help but think that it’s more trouble than it’s worth. I mean, why do you have to get your microwave up high? Is it an altitude thing? My arms are killing me from holding it up there for 6 whole minutes!

Wow. Finally, someone has the courage to defy the Illuminati and publish the sacred “Late Night Bacon” recipe in its full, unedited glory. I only hope that Rachael lives long enough to publish the follow-up epic: Peeling an Orange. fingers crossed, y’all!

2. Dark Chocolate as a Snack

My favorite comments on this extremely complicated recipe:

Do I use a knife and fork to eat this? Do I swallow it whole? Do I grind it into a powder and snort it? Please help! I don’t want to look foolish in front of my guests!

I went a bit “rogue” this Friday night and didn’t serve this as a snack (I like to put my special flair into recipes sometimes), but as a dessert after our traditional Friday Night Dinner of uncooked toast. My family was speechless!! Thank you Food Network!!

Why does ‘Snack’ have a capital S?
NO ONE SNACK SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER.

Never considered dark chocolate as a snack. It works well touching up my roots and filling in furniture blemishes. Makes me, and my house smell simply divine! Thanks Ellie for your great tip!

Should I remove the paper first?

3. English Peas

As always, the comments are excellent:

For the perfect refreshment to accompany this dish, also try this beverage recipe:
foodnetwork/recipes/paula-deen/glass-of-water-recipe

My husband is a proud man, but is often the victim of his own extreme parsimony. Years of performing his own dental work have taken their toll on both his spirit and his teeth. This leaves me in constant search for recipes that revitalize his life force and that do not require a blender.
Thank you, Paula, for the genius that is theis English Peas Recipe.
It regularly nourishes my husband’s body and soul in a very budget-friendly way. Now that he is in better spirits (and with the money we’ve saved I am hoping to convince him to take Mr. Wiggles to a real veterinarian.

Which half of the 1/2 stick of butter should I melt?

This recipe made me really angry. If furriner peas want to live in this country they should speak American. So I made up my own recipe – FREEDOM PEAS.
1 can of AMERICAN peas. USA! USA!
1 bottle of ranch dressing
Sautee lightly and drizzle over a basket of Big Mac ™ sandwiches.
Not only are FREEDOM PEAS delicious, you can serve them to your family feeling like a true patriot.

Can anyone tell me what I’m supposed to do with the paper from the butter wrap that’s in the melted butter? Is this a garnish?
Also, in the future can I use margarine? If so, do I wait until the plastic container melts completely before serving?

9. Foot Tanner
If you always feel like people are gawking at your white feet and the unsightly tan lines around your ankles when you wear sandals or pumps, then you need the Solafeet foot tanner.

8. Lighted Slippers
Now you can easily move around a darkened house reducing the risk of tripping over objects or running into doors, furniture or anything not easily seen in the dark.

7. Bacon Floss
Now you can improve your dental hygiene while enjoying the amazing flavor of crispy fried bacon. Is there anything bacon can’t improve?

6. USB Pet Rock
Simply plug the USB cable into a free port and let the fun begin. The USB Pet Rock will instantly begin to work its magic. People will stop by and ask you what your USB Pet Rock does. Each time, you can make up a new story; for no matter what you say, it will be greater than the truth – because these USB Pet Rocks don’t do a dang thing.

5. Toilet Mini Golf
Comes complete with a putting green made from the same professional carpet found at miniature golf courses, 2 golf balls, and a putter.

4. Banana Guard
The patented Banana Guard has allowed people of all ages to enjoy the world’s most favorite fruit at work, school or play without the worry that it will become smashed and inedible. This device fits over 90% of commercially available bananas.

3. Air Guitar
Includes free air-plectrum, fingering instructions for some favorite chords, top 10 suggested tunes plus some advanced moves you may like to attempt. Also, space to write your own lyrics or greetings and a jet black envelope. Rock on.

2. Egg Cuber
Use this nifty egg cuber to transform a round egg into a square egg. Sturdy, clear plastic design.

1. Underpants for Your Hands
Are you really naked under those gloves? For Pete’s sake, put on some Handerpants!

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The Original Recipe by “Not Quite Nigella”
* 500grams/1 pound smoked bacon (or use regular bacon and liquid smoke)
* 4 cloves garlic, chopped
* 1 medium brown onion sliced
* 3 tablespoons brown sugar
* Tabasco sauce (according to taste)
* 1 cup coffee
* 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
* 1/4 cup maple syrup
* Black pepper to taste
* extra water

Step-by-step guide:

1. In a non stick pan, fry the bacon in batches until lightly browned and beginning to crisp. Using a pair of scissors cut into 1 inch pieces.

2. Fry the onion and garlic in the rendered bacon fat on medium heat until translucent.

After 5 minutes of cooking

3. Transfer the bacon, onion and garlic into a heavy based cast iron pot and add the rest of the ingredients except for the water. Simmer for 2 hours adding 1/4 of a cup of water every 25-30 minutes or so and stirring.

After 1 hour of cooking

After 2 hours of cooking

4. When ready, cool for about 15-20 minutes and then place in a food processor. Pulse for 2-3 seconds so that you leave some texture to the “jam” or of course you could keep whizzing and make it a smoother and more paste like.

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