According to reviews, it’s going to be awesome beyond belief…

From: http://www.wiserep.com/productDetails.php?id=5769

Too bad that the minimum order is 12. Also $1400 seems a bit overpriced…

Also check out the comments for gems like:

I got stuck with this recipe. I could see the bacon in the package and counted 8 pieces, but I couldn’t get them out of the package because Rachael didn’t provide instructions. I’m really craving bacon. Please advise.

The recipe didn’t say anything about removing my hand from the bacon, so I ended up microwaving my hand with the bacon and paper towels. I passed out twice from the pain, but once I awoke, the bacon, the paper towels and my hand had all melded into one yumm-o baconey flavored blob, which really was crispy and delicious. I’ve got one hand left, and oh yeah, I’m making this again tonight!

Rachael Ray’s Late Night Toast: Place 2 slices of bread in a toaster not over lapping the slices. Set toaster on toast for as long as it takes for the bread to pop out and scare the living daylights out of you.
Serves two. Oh, who am I kidding. One.

I love bacon, so this recipe caught my eye immediately!
However, after trying it a few times, I can’t help but think that it’s more trouble than it’s worth. I mean, why do you have to get your microwave up high? Is it an altitude thing? My arms are killing me from holding it up there for 6 whole minutes!

Wow. Finally, someone has the courage to defy the Illuminati and publish the sacred “Late Night Bacon” recipe in its full, unedited glory. I only hope that Rachael lives long enough to publish the follow-up epic: Peeling an Orange. fingers crossed, y’all!

2. Dark Chocolate as a Snack

My favorite comments on this extremely complicated recipe:

Do I use a knife and fork to eat this? Do I swallow it whole? Do I grind it into a powder and snort it? Please help! I don’t want to look foolish in front of my guests!

I went a bit “rogue” this Friday night and didn’t serve this as a snack (I like to put my special flair into recipes sometimes), but as a dessert after our traditional Friday Night Dinner of uncooked toast. My family was speechless!! Thank you Food Network!!

Why does ‘Snack’ have a capital S?
NO ONE SNACK SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER.

Never considered dark chocolate as a snack. It works well touching up my roots and filling in furniture blemishes. Makes me, and my house smell simply divine! Thanks Ellie for your great tip!

Should I remove the paper first?

3. English Peas

As always, the comments are excellent:

For the perfect refreshment to accompany this dish, also try this beverage recipe:
foodnetwork/recipes/paula-deen/glass-of-water-recipe

My husband is a proud man, but is often the victim of his own extreme parsimony. Years of performing his own dental work have taken their toll on both his spirit and his teeth. This leaves me in constant search for recipes that revitalize his life force and that do not require a blender.
Thank you, Paula, for the genius that is theis English Peas Recipe.
It regularly nourishes my husband’s body and soul in a very budget-friendly way. Now that he is in better spirits (and with the money we’ve saved I am hoping to convince him to take Mr. Wiggles to a real veterinarian.

Which half of the 1/2 stick of butter should I melt?

This recipe made me really angry. If furriner peas want to live in this country they should speak American. So I made up my own recipe – FREEDOM PEAS.
1 can of AMERICAN peas. USA! USA!
1 bottle of ranch dressing
Sautee lightly and drizzle over a basket of Big Mac ™ sandwiches.
Not only are FREEDOM PEAS delicious, you can serve them to your family feeling like a true patriot.

Can anyone tell me what I’m supposed to do with the paper from the butter wrap that’s in the melted butter? Is this a garnish?
Also, in the future can I use margarine? If so, do I wait until the plastic container melts completely before serving?

Step 1. Get some pads. This may be a little harder for the guys, but just ask the girlfriend for some. Shouldn’t be a problem.

Step 2. Open the packaging and take one out.

Step 3. Fold the ends on both sides.

Step 4. Now slide the folded pad onto another unfolded pad. Use the built in adhesive to make sure they stay together. This part might be a little tricky if you’ve never used a pad before.

Step 5. Add additional padding to the bottom to make it nice, soft, and extra absorbent in case you are walking through a swamp.

Step 6. Put glue on top of the previously folded pad.

Step 7. Add beautiful decorations.

Step 8. Wear your new pad slippers with style, comfort, and pride.

The temptation of taste!

Arby’s advertisement promoting the new Roastburger:

“White Castle” pork flashdance:

Turkey cancan:

“I’ve always had a love affair with food”:

Czech sausages with “undress me” printed on them:

Hot Indian chicks:

]]> http://www.sadanduseless.com/2010/07/sex-sells-odd-meat-ads/feed/ 2 http://www.sadanduseless.com/2010/07/funny-headline-fail/ http://www.sadanduseless.com/2010/07/funny-headline-fail/#comments Wed, 07 Jul 2010 17:13:55 +0000 admin http://www.sadanduseless.com/?p=2735 Thanks, Reuters, for making my day.

My favorite paragraph:

Gay, who has been battling a nagging hamstring problem for seven weeks, ran his first 200 of the year in 19.76 seconds to finish just shy of Dix, who took control coming off the bend and stayed in front to win in 19.72.

“It wasn’t bad, but I was a little fatigued toward the end,” Gay said. “I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn’t enough.”

Dix, who won the 100 meters and placed second at the U.S. nationals last weekend, said his race experience had helped, “but I’m a little beat up, too.”

“I was a little sloppy out of the blocks, but I was able to hold on,” he added. “Tyson gave me great competition.”

Haggis is a dish containing sheep’s ‘pluck’ (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally simmered in the animal’s stomach for approximately three hours.

It’s hard to believe, but there are people who actually loves eating this crap. Even worse, there’s a canned version of this abomination!

1. Set up operations outside, because this thing probably stinks like hell.

2. Use a can opener.

3. There is a large quantity of fat in the can:  it’s sort of like opening a can of deviled ham. Surprisingly, it doesn’t smell as bad as expected.

4. A lot of yellow liquid pours out of the can.

5. A big lump slides out easily.  It’s the haggis. A large amount of the fat stayed inside the can.

6. The casing was very tough, even when attacked with a sharp knife.  It strongly resembles yellowish plastic, but it’s probably a sheep stomach.

I don’t know how it tastes (and I don’t want to try).

Its radioactivity increases the defenses of teeth and gums. The cells are loaded with new life energy, the bacteria are hindered in their destroying effect. This explains the excellent prophylaxis and healing process with gingival diseases. It gently polishes the dental enamel so it turns white and shiny. Prevents dental calculus. Wonderful lather and a new, pleasant, mild and refreshing taste. Can be applied sparingly.

The following pictures are from a Doramad brochure:

Follow them everywhere they go. They get in a cab or car, I’ll follow behind them slowly at pace equal to theirs, always 2 cars length behind them. They get a hot dog, I get a hot dog, etc.

While doing this one day I came across a couple. A dark haired man with medium length hair, and this girl who had gorgeous long blond hair.

I followed this couple for miles, from Alderney City to the bright neon lights of Star Junction, they were seemingly happy, joyful, in love with one another. The man cared for his girlfriend, and the girlfriend cared for her boyfriend.

They ate happily together, eating hot dogs, taking in the city. Always staring into each others eyes with deep glee and happiness. I had never seen so much love between two people. I cared for these two as much as they cared for each other. I would do as much as I can to make sure nothing would ever happen too them. After going ahead of them a bit and beating up hobos, walking in traffic ahead of them to make sure if a car were to come I would take it for them, and any other nuisance there could be.

Then it happened. After watching them stare at a giant ad in the Star Juction I realized something. I am alone. No one. Michelle was long gone for something I do not wish to bring up. Kiki dumped me when she found out I had been having intercourse with hookers then bash their heads in with a baseball bat to gain my money back. Carmen never called me again after our first date, mostly due to me pushing her down a set of subway stairs, then stopping her head into the steps. I never tried any other woman due to me thinking it was pointless at this point. I began to feel sad.

I thought to myself, “Why can that man not be me?” “Is he any better than me?” “Why wouldn’t she think of dating me? Get some coffee, even at least TALK TOO ME?” I wanted her. I wanted this mysterious blond with the looks of an angel, and the laugh of a child. I wanted to be that man, I wanted to have what he had, to know that joy of having somebody care for your own well being. I was jealous of the man. I wanted that I could not have, that I desired for so much. The longer I watched them, the longer I wanted to become him, at any cost. I then felt remorse. Saddened of what I had become, a lonesome man stalking random pedestrians. But when the thought of this man touching her, kissing her, loving her… the thought of remorse was thrown to the back of my head as if I had never thought it.

I set forth a plan. I will kill him. Take up my new identity as him. And me and the blond will live happily together forever.

I knew what I had to do. I drive her whilst her screaming like a banshee. I reach my destination. The cliff next to Mikhail Faustin’s house. If you’ve ever seen this part of the game there are rocks and old cars that seems from the ’50s, and ’60s at the bottom.

I rev my engine. She screams even louder. I drive faster, faster, and faster. Her death curling scream gets louder, louder, and louder.

We fly off the edge.

Everything is then silent for a mere second. This second feels like an eternity. I know what I am doing, I feel no regret. I am also for the first time in a long time; happy.

We both plummet to bottom and die instantaneously. They will never know who killed John, or the cab driver Shafeeq. They will never find the body of Sara or Niko Bellic. The ocean mixed with gasoline fueled fire will ruin any traces of either of our pasts or future.

I then revive at a hospital and steal a Blista Compact and go bowling with Roman.

(via)