Texts From My Cat

Remember Texts From My Dog?
Angie Bailey has created similar hilarious series of conversations with Mittens.



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  1. Anonymous June 29, 2014

    I sereiously believe your cat has disturbing social and distressed anxiety issues! My cat gizmo has two doctorates in phycology and sociology and will like to set up an appointment with mittens.

    • Person July 14, 2014

      That’s dumb.

    • Anon July 29, 2014

      My cat’s name is also Gizmo!

    • 89Granta August 8, 2014

      Lmao I know this will sound weird, but we don’t really use the word Gizmo where I’m from. I named my dog Gizmo after the Gremlins movie, and over 15 or so years I’ve come to associate it entirely with him – it’s the only time I ever hear it. In a way I can’t explain it’s really weird and cute to see other pets named Gizmo!

    • ED January 27, 2015

      Your cat does not have any such degrees. how could a cat pay attention long enough to achieve such things. Lies. A catnip ball full of lies.

    • Tommy Szymczuk February 15, 2015

      My cats name is Gizmo too I love him dearly

    • Anonymous April 15, 2015

      My cat is also called Gizmo lol he is crazy

  2. Liza July 1, 2014

    Omg I fully enjoyed and have shared to all my other crazy cat ladies… I can see Katalina texting me like this!! hahahahaha… thank you for the afternoon laugh.

    • Susan July 31, 2014

      No, anon. She did name her cat KAT… KATALINA… They are referring to the comment by LIZA. Not the texts from cat stuff…lol

  3. Anonymous July 9, 2014

    So you named your cat… Kat…

    • Anonymous July 20, 2014

      No, mittens

  4. Anonymous July 14, 2014

    More more!!

  5. dsf July 16, 2014

    thats dog smss

    • Cat July 17, 2014

      My human named me Cat, of coarse he was only sober for 6 months at the time, so gotta give him a break on his lack of imagination at the time. Lol

  6. Michelle July 20, 2014

    I noticed this is sort of a story about a relationship between a person and their cat from beginning to end. I have one cat now, and I used to have two. This is exactly the lesson I learned from them both.

  7. B3stet July 27, 2014

    This is classic! MORE MORE PLEASE!

  8. Vfjohnso August 8, 2014

    None of my cats have ever had time for this nonsense. Their energy was reserved for observation of inscrutable human behavior for the reports they beamed back to the Mother Ship every night. Besides, too much interaction with the subjects might skew the results of the experiment.

  9. Laurie August 10, 2014

    LOL OMG Im dying! Hilarious!

  10. Sharon August 18, 2014

    My cat would text the same thing even after 14 years, when is that dog leaving.

    • K C August 26, 2014

      So… when IS that dog leaving?!

  11. Sassycat August 19, 2014

    You see? This is why I won’t let my cat have a cell phone!

  12. Marge August 20, 2014

    I love cat talk!!

  13. K C August 26, 2014

    My Kitty GEORGE is bi-lingual, or is it bi-curious? BI-CURIOUS GEORGE!!!

    • Anonymous April 10, 2015


  14. Aye Has Dawgz! October 25, 2014

    My krazy cat-lady-friend can sooo relate to this! LOL!

  15. jakeandfinn October 26, 2014

    Fake for sure.

    • Anonymous October 27, 2014

      Gee, do you think?

    • Anonymous January 27, 2015

      No way! Really?

  16. Ollie and Rosie October 26, 2014

    If we sits on it the iPad she can’t reed this. Haha.

  17. Teens October 27, 2014

    Too funny! I pretend my cats have lives too…. Which goes to show that I don’t. Lol

    • Anonymous November 16, 2014

      True. You don’t, virgin.

  18. hater October 29, 2014

    boo… can’t believe i wasted 2 minutes reading this

    • Twinkle April 13, 2015

      Two minutes?? Really? All my cat friends and I can read faster than that. Lowly human.

  19. Girl December 7, 2014

    I had a cat called Tilly

    • MonsterMom April 5, 2015

      Me too, her full name is Tilly Monster, but we just call her Tilly!

  20. kitty lover not anonymous! December 29, 2014

    Its so sad that some people are so serious in life..imagination and laughter are a beautiful emotion and creativity can be endless, I loved it :-) all animals have thoughts and feelings, its a shame for the ignorance around this world…do you really think us humans are the only ones with bonding instincts, intelligence, daft behaviours and the ability to rescue and alert humans in danger, the ability to do chores for blind people…to laugh is the most precious gift :-) who knows whats going on in their minds!

  21. Ivan February 24, 2015

    Very funny and nice.

  22. MissSaxySax March 12, 2015

    Hahaha. Just had a bad day. This cheered me up. Oh, the smart-@ss comments my cat would make if he could text!

  23. Robin March 18, 2015

    Cats remind us that we are not the end all and be all. They are capable of play, problem solving & whimsey. If we impart to them anthropomorphic characteristics that are “a little over the top”, then that is perhaps one of their most endearing qualities . . . that they could engender such thoughts.
    Dogs have masters . . . Cats have servants.

  24. FancyTheCat March 31, 2015

    Nice, I want to text my cat—if I had one:-c

  25. "The Man" April 6, 2015

    These were amusing. And “the man” is how my cats think of me. Most think I am just there to serve them. My little Ty Kitty adored me because I rescued her from a parking lot.

  26. Sassy April 8, 2015

    I relate to this. I have a similar cat. Actually, Mittens has a little bit of each of my cats in him.
    Each = 5.
    Yeah, I’m the lady on the street where stray cats are told to go at the end of CA meetings. (catnip anonymous)
    “Meow at the back door pathetically. Once she feeds you, start purring loudly. You’ll have a new home by Friday.”

    • Daggercat April 9, 2015

      I like your sense of humor Sassy!

    • Anonymous April 10, 2015

      Every street needs an angel like you with a back door to meow at when they are homeless

    • catlady2 April 15, 2015

      Sassy, Glad I’m not the only one!!! Yep the word gets around quick, doesn’t it?

  27. CC April 9, 2015

    Hilarious! Exactly what our two scheming furballs do all day!!

  28. cat man do April 10, 2015

    My cats breath smells like catfood

    • yoda April 16, 2015

      my cat has mouse breath

  29. Karen April 10, 2015

    Clever and cute!

  30. Angel April 10, 2015

    if my cats had cell phones they would probably be narcing on each other…

  31. Old Mom of 2 April 11, 2015

    Referring to a previous message way up there somewhere… Cat’s could probably pay attention long enough to get those degrees if you made it worth their while. Our cat has caught five gophers in the last week and a half. If he catches one, he will sit there looking at a gopher hole for HOURS after that, just waiting for another one – and usually there will be another one stupid enough to stick its head out.

  32. maja April 11, 2015

    me human: Maja, im bored at work
    Maja: oh, good, there is å suprise for you whene you come home:D!
    me human: oh? what?
    Maja: well, we had a breakin, but i caught him, so we are having bird for dinner ;)
    but he broke youre wase, tared Down a courtain and broke Your almost done 3000 puzzel…oh, and Your chandelair has somehow fallen on to the floor. But now you dont have too Cook :D

  33. haylz April 11, 2015

    Loved this so much

  34. Person April 13, 2015

    Lmfao so funny

  35. smokey April 14, 2015

    i oved this my catt would so do this her name is smoke on the water we call her smokey

  36. mier April 14, 2015

    Well I have no problem closing my bedroom door at night.. so I can get some actual SLEEP!!

  37. Jira Jane April 15, 2015

    I can sooooo see my cat Penelope writing these to me! MORE!

  38. Anonymous April 16, 2015

    These are perfect! Between my two 1 year old boys, they do all of these things including dropping toys on my head at 2am.
    You should do one about wet food vs dry food.

  39. Ericat April 19, 2015

    Dry vs Wet Food: Dry food is only to be eaten when Mom hasn’t fed me my favorite wet food yet, which, by the way, is not the wet food I loved yesterday! Stupid human.

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